With Cortez gone, even with Valance gone, Kharth had nobody to complain to she trusted to listen or sit still long enough, so she ambushed Airex at breakfast in the Safe House, pulling up the chair opposite his with a curt, ‘I’m joining you.’

He looked up from stirring his tea and blinked. ‘I can see that.’

‘The universe is turning upside-down. Did you meet the new Strat Ops?’

Airex hesitated, eyes flickering about the lounge. At this time there was enough traffic, officers filtering in and out ahead of their shifts, for conversations to go unnoticed. Or perhaps he was scoping out an escape route. Gentle piano music filled the room, giving the dark, wood-panelled walls a sense of closeness, making the room feel more lived-in than the cold stars streaming outside the windows would normally permit.

‘I did,’ he said at last neutrally, but Kharth didn’t say anything, waiting expectantly. He sighed. ‘Commander Harrian seems perfectly pleasant. He was a science officer, did you know? We discussed some of the ongoing anthropological studies that have started in the refugee shelters -’

‘Shelters that need supplies and equipment, not scientists,’ Kharth cut in.

‘Shelters who need appropriately-researched interventions,’ Airex said. He sounded, she thought, more gentle in his correction than he had in recent years. Perhaps he hadn’t changed so much since Joining, she reflected; perhaps all he’d been doing was trying to drive her, drive anyone away.

That only irritated her more, so she slammed her coffee down and reached for the sugar. ‘He hates Rourke. They were on the Firebrand together. I think they were friends. Now he blames him for everyone dying there.’

Airex frowned. ‘Oh.’ He sounded like he knew that was a problem, but not what he was supposed to do about it.

‘Why’s he here?’

‘I assume on the word of Starfleet Command.’

‘You mean on the word of Jericho.’ Gesticulating, Kharth poured more sugar than she meant into her mug. ‘He’s picked up someone from the captain’s past and sent him to spy on us.’

‘You mean another spy,’ Airex said drily. ‘If Commander Shepherd’s a spy.’

‘Shep’s just the XO. Harrian speaks with Jericho’s voice.’

‘He’s just an adviser, he can’t overrule Rourke.’

‘No, but he can report directly to Jericho and get him to. Which has to be what Jericho wants, someone reporting on Rourke’s every turn. Shep wouldn’t be able to do her job if she was constantly undermining the captain, but Harrian can do that fine. I mean, why else would Jericho find someone who hates Rourke and put him aboard?’

Airex watched her for a moment, then pushed his plate of half-finished pastries away. ‘Is this about the other day?’

‘You’re going to have to be far more specific.’

‘I mean Navinor. I don’t like it either. I’ve been wondering what we can do about it.’

‘We can’t do anything. That was down to Rourke. He’s normally like a targ on a rampage if someone gets in his way of doing what he thinks is the right thing, but you saw him on the bridge. He rolled over like a dog you’ve beaten too many times.’ Kharth leaned forward. ‘We have to get other people on-side.’

Airex frowned. ‘What do you mean, on-side?’

‘Once, I would have known where everyone in the senior staff stood. Now we’ve only got you, me, Sadek, Lindgren, and Carraway from before. T’Varel, Whitaker, that new Ops manager who shipped in the other day – what do they think?’

‘Whitaker isn’t new,’ Airex pointed out.

‘He’s gone from fly-boy squadron leader to helmsman. He’s expected to have opinions now, and he’s probably not grown them. But he’s definitely had no reason to be loyal to Rourke in particular. We need to know the lay of the land.’ Kharth frowned at nothing in particular, then her stomach rumbled. With a grimace, she started to dig into her muesli. ‘We’ve lost the big hitters who would side with the captain.’ That wasn’t true of Arys, but Valance, Cortez, and even Thawn were all people she could count on. Left were the more peripheral staffers, the younger staffers, Airex who had been off the ship for over a year, and her.

He sighed. ‘If we do find that a majority of the staff support Rourke, what do we even do?’

‘Nothing.’ Kharth swallowed a mouthful of muesli quickly. ‘But it means that when it’s time to stand up, we know who’s where. So. Will you do it?’

‘Do what?’

‘Take the temperature of people. We have to be discreet.’

Airex rubbed his temples. ‘Ask them if they’re prepared to, what, stage an uprising on the bridge if Captain Jericho gives an order and we think Captain Rourke would disobey if only he had his bridge crew together?’

Her fork came down with a clatter. ‘I need to know who I can count on.’ Her words came with more vulnerability than she intended, and Kharth’s jaw tightened as she realised what she was saying. This wasn’t just about knowing who was with her if someone had to stand up to Jericho. She needed to know what sort of people she was surrounding herself with.

Worse, Airex wore a look of horrid understanding. A part of her missed the days he was so desperate to drive her off he didn’t ever show what he was thinking. He gave a small, sympathetic nod. ‘I’ll do the rounds.’

‘I make a habit,’ said Doctor Sadek, rather flatly, ‘of staying out of politics. Even if I think Matt’s making boneheaded decisions.’

Kharth stepped back as an orderly rushed through sickbay, but despite Sadek’s aura of wanting to be left alone to work, returned to the doctor’s side. ‘So you think he’s being boneheaded?’

‘I always think the captain’s being boneheaded. That’s the privilege of being the CMO and best friend. I get to judge him without getting my hands dirty.’ Sadek picked up and checked over a tricorder. ‘You should try it. The “not getting your hands dirty” part, I mean. Leave the judgement.’

‘When my people are being left to die, I tend to judge.’

The corners of Sadek’s eyes creased. ‘The people of Navinor endured the past fifteen years without Starfleet’s help. Give them a little more credit than that.’

‘I don’t -’

‘And what about the people we’re going to help inside the Federation border once we get back? We wouldn’t be helping them if we were helping Navinor. Take it from a doctor: you can’t save everyone.’

‘But who do you prioritise,’ Kharth pressed. ‘The person who bumped their head, or the person bleeding profusely?’

‘I’d say you staunch the bleeding, but you keep an eye on the head bump. It can be a concussion.’ Sadek sobered. ‘Remember that we’re talking worlds where the Mo’Kai are trying to stir up local discontent. We’re not here to judge a “prettiest garden” contest. I understand where you’re coming from, Kharth, but you’re doing a terrible job of acknowledging your own bias.’

That was the point Kharth realised she wasn’t going to make headway; the steadfastly sickbay-focused doctor would stick to her territory, or at least not admit more than the usual level of disagreement with her old friend. But other conversations elsewhere didn’t necessarily go better.

‘I have no opinion on the captain’s decision at Navinor,’ Chief Engineer T’Varel said when cornered in the Round Table that evening. ‘Other than that I see no logic in disobeying Fleet Captain Jericho.’

Five seconds into a conversation with a Vulcan and they mention logic. Do I win a prize? Kharth nevertheless slid, uninvited, onto the bar stool next to her. ‘Do you see the logic in leaving a job half-done?’

‘Our task was to apprehend the Romulan Rebirth leader tormenting the planet. That task was completed.’ T’Varel tilted her head the optimal number of degrees to look annoyingly condescending. ‘Assuming you were successful.’

‘I – he’s in our brig, T’Varel,’ Kharth pointed out with exasperation.

‘Then I do not see why you are dissatisfied with your own mission.’

‘I’m not dissatisfied! I think there should have been more mission.’

‘As I understand it, you made that stance abundantly clear. So abundant, in fact, that engineers who were not even there talked about it and I now have a full understanding of an incident at which I was not even present. Which is why I am entirely unaware of the purpose of this discussion. Is this related to the effective operation of this starship’s systems?’

‘No, but -’

‘Then it lies entirely outside of my purview as Chief Engineer.’ T’Varel pointedly picked up a PADD. ‘Good day, Commander.’

Even by Vulcan standards, Kharth thought, that was caustic. But she was clearly not getting anywhere and reluctantly left T’Varel to it, wondering if Airex was having better luck.

‘Have you been holding out on me all this time?’ Carraway’s brow furrowed as he looked up from the Go board. ‘Or did getting in touch with your inner self make you better at abstract strategy?’

‘I was trying to keep you compliant,’ Airex said effortlessly as he reached for a stone. ‘I thought if I came across as too work-oriented for too many games, you wouldn’t use these for unofficial counselling sessions. But if I avoided you too much, you’d press the point.’ He also raised his gaze. ‘So I pretended to be the reluctant Go player.’

The observation lounge on Deck 5 was much quieter than either the Round Table or the Safe House, and made a good spot for a quiet board game. It also made a good spot for a quiet conversation, the two of them sat on low benches before a wide table beneath a large oval viewport filled with stars. However, some niceties needed to be observed before cutting to the chase.

‘Huh,’ said Carraway gently. ‘So, really, both are true. You know, I would have just thought you were a guy who liked Go if you played more and beat me more. Not everyone was out to rip apart your secrets.’

Airex hesitated. ‘I… recognise that I was maybe paranoid.’

‘You were with us for years before Kharth ever showed up. You didn’t need to lie to us.’ As always, Carraway managed to sound gentle rather than chiding, even as he was telling someone they’d behaved poorly.

‘I was always lying by omission. I think you can imagine what that does to someone.’ But that wasn’t the purpose of this conversation. Airex shook his head. ‘Now I’m back, I’d like to do things better.’

‘Like kicking my ass at Go?’

‘Like spending time with people properly. And like… engaging more.’

Carraway reached for his tea. ‘Okay. So, knowing now that the way you were behaving before was a mask, I gotta say – you’re doing it again right now.’

‘What?’

‘There’s something you want to talk about, but you’re trying to sidle up to it. It’s okay, you can just speak.’

‘Oh, no.’ Airex raised a hand. ‘This isn’t me trying to ask you for help. Not like that, I mean.’

‘It can be whatever you need it to be. I get that it must be hard, coming back only for Valance to leave. And Kharth’s still here, and that’s gotta be real hard for you both. I’m glad you seem to be talking more.’

‘We are, but that’s not the point.’

‘Then what is the point? Do you two even really know where you are? Or are you still in limbo?’ Carraway gave a sad, soft smile. ‘The both of you are really due an honest conversation. But I get it, you need to figure out where you are separately first. I know you’ll never take me up on it, but I actually can help with that.’

‘She’ll never go for it,’ Airex pointed out quickly.

‘Maybe not, but I can still help you. Help you sift through where your feelings are, your guilt is. Because I know you’ve still got guilt, Dav -’

‘We think Captain Rourke’s too beaten by Captain Jericho to stand up and do the right thing,’ Airex blurted, because cutting to the chase was better than discussing his feelings. ‘And we’re worried.’

Carraway stopped at that. Then he said, ‘I’m worried, too.’

‘You are?’

‘Captain Rourke lost a lot lately. Including Commander Valance. But then, so did you.’ Carraway tilted his head. ‘She asked you to look after everyone, didn’t she.’

Airex’s throat tightened. This was why he hadn’t played too much Go with Carraway over the years. ‘Yes.’

‘You can’t be her. She wouldn’t want you to be her. She had a relationship with the captain that you don’t. But you two still have a relationship. I know something went down with you around Teros.’ Carraway winced. ‘You’re right to worry. But I think the way forward is still to reach out. Trust your relationships, your path forward. It’s stronger than you think.’

Airex scowled after a moment. ‘Do you think we should be helping the Romulan people more?’

‘I think that there’s so much guilt about the Romulan people that nobody’s thinking straight. Either way,’ Carraway sighed. ‘But yeah. I’d like to help them. I’d like to help everyone. I don’t know what’s possible and what’s not.’

It would have to do, Airex thought, and looked back at the board. ‘I resign.’

‘What, you -’ Carraway raised an indignant hand. ‘Come on!’

‘I’m not lying any more,’ Airex pointed out as he stood. ‘I could have beaten you.’

‘Then beat me!’ Carraway called at his disappearing back.

Lindgren’s gaze flickered across the bridge at Kharth’s question. ‘I think it’s important we support the captain,’ she said, quietly but sincerely. ‘Is this some sort of loyalty test?’

‘Not “some sort,”’ said Kharth. ‘Just a regular loyalty test.’

The response was a frustrated sigh. ‘I think what the captain needs right now, Commander, is to know people are behind him so he can make the right decisions. Not for us to be all hissing secretively in corners. That’ll make things worse.’

‘Who’s hissing secretively in corners?’ Predictably, trying to grab a quiet word at Lindgren’s bridge station had drawn attention, this time in the shape of Lieutenant Whitaker swaggering over from the turbolift on his way to his post. ‘Oh, are we scheming?’

Kharth glared at the control panel behind Lindgren. ‘It’s impolite to eavesdrop, Lieutenant.’

‘That sounds doubly scheme-y. I love a good scheme. Is it a surprise birthday party?’ Whitaker leaned against Lindgren’s console with all the dignity of an insolent house cat.

Lindgren pursed her lips. ‘Whose birthday is it next?’

‘You keep track of that?’ Kharth gave her a dubious look.

‘People get suspicious when Greg looks like he’s planning parties. So I do it,’ she explained, then sighed and shook her head. ‘It would have been Commander Cortez’s on the eighteenth.’

‘Okay, this isn’t what I came here to discuss…’

‘Who’s next with Cortez gone? Senior staff, I mean?’ chirped Whitaker.

‘You’ll have to do the planning on that one.’ Lindgren gave a wry smile. ‘As I think it’s mine.’

‘You say that, you don’t know anyone new’s birthday,’ he pointed out. ‘I could be up next.’

‘Are you?’ Kharth asked impatiently.

‘Well. No. And planning a birthday for the likes of Commander T’Varel sounds like a frightful waste of time.’ Whitaker pushed off to stand straight, his lanky figure looming over both women as he turned to the front of the bridge. ‘Far!’

Newly-arrived Operations Chief Lieutenant Commander Kol Por Teren Ilka Far turned from her station like she’d been caught out at something. ‘Yes?’

‘When’s your birthday?’

Kharth pinched the bridge of her nose. ‘Give me the Thousand Days of Pain.’

‘You were trying to politic on the bridge,’ Lindgren pointed out with a small smirk.

‘Oh!’ Far hopped up like this was a conversation she was expected to join. She was quite tall but slender, with the blue markings across her face of the Xahean people and bright, intense eyes. When she was animated, which happened very often, she spoke rather quickly. ‘Not til late in the year – are we talking birthdays?’

‘It’s Lieutenant Lindgren’s next,’ Whitaker said, like he’d wheedled this information out instead of outright asking.

Trying to wrestle control back into this situation, Kharth turned to Far. She was ostensibly the officer on watch, after all. ‘Commander. Did you finish that diagnostic?’

‘I did – I didn’t realise you wanted a full report.’ But Far only brightened, whipping out a PADD. ‘I’m right; if Commander Airex wants extra computational power to analyse those findings on long-range sensors, we can get by with rolling shutdown of some of the non-essential communication systems. If I get everyone who wants to send out a comm in the window to notify me, I can assign time-slots so nobody has to miss out. Or, uh, Lieutenant Lindgren can. But that depends on the complexity of the gravimetric readings; if Commander Airex wants to reconstruct a full mathematical model, then we might have to ask Commander T’Varel to delay some of the warp field tests -’

‘You know what,’ Kharth said brusquely, ‘how about you bring that to Commander Shepherd. That sounds like her problem.’

‘Sure! Does that mean we get back to birthday planning?’

Kharth’s nostrils flared. ‘It means everyone should get back to their posts.’

Whitaker held up his hands and both he and Far retreated to their stations at the fore of the bridge. As they went, Kharth heard the new Ops officer mumble a question to Whitaker that definitely included the word ‘grumpy.’ With a sigh, she turned back to Lindgren, who simply shrugged.

‘To them, we’re just another crew, and the captain’s just another captain. You shouldn’t be drawing them into things,’ Lindgren said.

Kharth gave her a baleful look. ‘I miss the days you were a less-uppity ensign.’

‘I was still right when I was an ensign. You just listened to me less.’

Before Kharth could defend herself, the doors to the captain’s ready room slid open and Rourke stalked out, straight-backed. ‘To your stations,’ he said in a gruff, clipped voice. ‘We’re changing heading.’

Whitaker looked back. ‘Sir? We’re only hours from the border.’

‘We can still turn, though, can’t we?’ Rourke’s eyebrows raised accusingly. ‘I’ve just had word from Commander Kosst. We’re moving to join the Nighthawk.’

Kharth hadn’t yet left Lindgren’s station, and the two women locked eyes. Wordlessly, Lindgren gestured to her screen showing incoming external communications. Rourke had been talking with both Kosst and Jericho.

‘Can do,’ Whitaker said in an airy voice, despite Rourke’s terseness. ‘We’re six hours out.’

‘At cruising speed?’

‘Yes, sir.’

Rourke shook his head. ‘Step it up. Warp 9.’

Kharth finally moved to the central arch to assume her post at Tactical. ‘Is there an emergency, Captain?’

‘No,’ Rourke said, again shaking his head. But as he settled into his chair, she thought she heard him murmur, ‘We just better get there first.’