John Kingsman

That is HANDS DOWN the best story title ever in everdom .... classic !!! :)

I really like how you juxtapose the official log/report writing into the main body of the story, it's always a great way to achieve an exposition dump without dumping all over the reader! By breaking it up, that deviates from the standard convention. I also like how you use the same device to shift a gear, narratively and shift the tone to pathos as it turns to a letter of condolence. Then onto a quartermaster req for materials. It grounds the piece in the commonplace cadences more typically associated with military command, that would still be readily apparent to those who only know that life though entertainments. Overall, it's an accomplished piece of writing that establishes a pleasing natural flow and structurally is very well done.

We gave it 4 stars.....

What I immediately appreciate about this tale is how you manage to straddle the (not inconsequential) challenge of managing to balance exposition and establishment, but succeed in doing so with a sparsity that means every word lands where it should. This is no small feat, in terms of creative writing, and you achieve it here in spades and in a comparatively short passage of storytelling. I find it muscular, bravely told and utterly compelling ! More please!!

There’s a myriad of things that I appreciate in this story, foremost is the studied, yet apparent ease of connection amongst the principal characters that is established in dialogue. It denotes both established world- building, but a rare finesse to make that seem commonplace. That’s something we all reach for as writers and benefit to share in. Couched as it is in confident & well - balanced prose, this just serves further to make this an exceptional read. Inspiring and enticing in equal measure. Bravo!!!

Any story that begins with alliteration has me hooked from when the "Shuttle shuddered"! You have a really engaging narrative style that flows seamlessly between descriptors, inner - reflections and exposition. This is grown - up writing of a particular pedigree and enormously enjoyable because of it!!! There's a naturalness and flow to your dialogue that makes me feel like I have known Peter for ever and the dynamic with Esri is just so apt. This is a great example of confident writing done well and an intriguing opener that makes me, as the reader, hungry to see what the next course will be......

As a current 'Vigilant' - owner, I must admit to having mixed feelings at seeing one get destroyed, even one as nefariously well - written as the one in your story! But WHAT a cracking read !! Well done you !! : )

This is by far the most attention grabbing and inspired story title of the entire Fleet Action, by a considerable margin ! Bravo! It certainly hooked me in !!!!

What I like here is the deftness with which you wield your vocabulary. I'm a big fan of a well formed word and your choice of language and how you balance it with the easy conversational style of your character discourse makes for a particularly pleasing read!

"tidied up by a tornado" is great alliteration and a superb line! The visualization of the carnage of the weaponry flung about like shrapnel is a really visceral scene - setter. You really have a handle on a great opening - line, who doesn't like a good hook? I'm hooked!

A great start to O'va's Fleet Action Journey. I particularly like the duality in the opening conceit that the Captain encounters her doppelgänger - self, whilst looking into a mirror. It's existential and works on so many levels, it also has the flavour of something that would play out well onscreen! Very cinematic ! Bravo !

A punk - rock Exocomp. I don't care what anybody says, but that right there is pure bloody comedy GOLD !!!

I'm completely sold on "PREVIOUSLY ABOARD THE USS SOLVANG" ! What a great hook to lure the reader in !!! Epic stuff !!!

I gotta say, Quantum - Entanglement between two identical ships in two separate universes is still a conceit that is blowing my mind! It's streets - away from what anybody else is doing in this FA !! The system that both crews have rigged up to communicate with each other, via the rift in Holosuite#1 is so analogue and inspired! Occam's Razor at its most cutting!! The meeting of Chad and Charles is all a reader could hope for and you managed to craft both comedy and pathos through the pairing that is just so natural and intriguing. You have a brand of fiction that is all of your own and I am happy to invest myself in it! This is shaping up to be a great tale!!

What's weirder than being a fish out of water? It's when you're swimming in the same-same/different bowl! Chad's become a Stranger in a Familiar - land! This is reminiscent of some of the finer TOS plots and I LOVE it!!! I gotta say, if I ever have to get interrogated, I want Lieutenant-Commander Edward Poole to be on the other side of the questioning! ....BTW....I take my Whiskey with one rock of ice, thank you very much!! I love how you are handling Harris' misadventures through the Looking - Glass !!!

You had me at "At 07:01 ship time, the universe had decided now was a good time to allow the unexpected to take place." WHAT a great line! And the fun doesn't stop there! You do a masterful job at relaying the confusion over Chad's 'disappearance' through the rift that has formed in Holosuite#1 and quickly build into the chaos of Displacements that is happening elsewhere in space. The reference to the "Borg Hexahedron’s" is my particular favorite part!!! Nothing says Multicursal - madness better than an Alternate - Universe version of the Collective. Your storytelling builds expectation and delivers in droves! I'm totally going to have to do a JP with you, one of these days! Bravo !!

Reading through the Mission outline, you've created a completely original and refreshing central conceit to the Fleet Action - by making the Holodeck the pivotal plot device wherein the Displacement to the alternate Universe occurs. It's fresh, it's unpreceded and I totally take my hat off to you! It's that kind of original & creative approach to Sci-Fi and Star Trek in particular that I always come to appreciate in your work! At the same time, it's couched with continuing insights to Chads inner thoughts and personal life, which persists the larger continuity of your ongoing storytelling! Exciting stuff and, I for one, can't wait to read more !!!

Using Transported Tribbles as an Unorthodox weapon, now THAT is hilarious !!!

What I love about this story in particular is how you have woven a wonderful sense of community and personality aboard ship and then juxtaposed this with the Tribble, which almost plays 2nd fiddle as the MacGuffin that is the locus of discontent. It takes the brief and approaches it from a refreshingly different direction! I love it ! Well done !!!

Masterfully told with a wonderful flair for descriptive language! The pairing of a Vulcan and the Terrible Tribbles has be rolling in the aisles. Not a dry eye in the house !!!

Absolutely LOVED this…..