Part of USS Mackenzie: Mission 4 – Harris Transport Chronicles Chapter 1 (HTC1)

HTC 003 – Driving Mr. Harris

Opheim, Montana
1.3.2401 @ 2000
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“Welcome back, Captain Harris.”  The Harris Transport employee at the dock noted on his tablet, “The house is ready for you, and there’s a car waiting for you.”

Ambrose waved the reference to his rank away, “I’m not in uniform, Josh…and I’m not Starfleet while I’m here.  Ambrose or Mr. Harris will do just fine.”

Josh Marina felt his face warm.  “It’s…sorry, sir…it’s just really cool to have a Starfleet captain in my shuttle bay!  And an Excelsior II class one too!”  He composed himself, “I’m going to stick with Mr. Harris for now.”

“Thanks, Josh.  Keep up the good work.”  He walked off the landing pad and into the transport hub making his way to with bag in hand to find out who was picking him up.  He stepped outside the doors and was surprised to find an old friend at the wheel of one of the company cars.  “Cardamon…they let you drive?”

The Voth lept for the car and embraced the surprised and now shocked Harris, “I have learned many things in my time here, captain.  They’ve taught me a lot about driving, eating, climbing, horses, cows, pigs, bulls, camels…it is truly a magical place you have here.”  He gestured to the car, “I have only been in one accident so far!”

Ambrose turned his head at the last reveal, “What happened?”

Cardamon whispered, “We don’t talk about it.”

Harris returned the whisper, “Did anybody die?”

The Voth stepped back in shock, “No!  There was just an incident with a tree, a deer, and the reverse gear.  That is all I am going to say on the matter.”

“When did this…accident happen?”  Harris trusted Cardamon in a great many things.  He wasn’t sure driving was going to make the list.

“Two days ago.  I’ve learned so much since then!  I’m nearly a new ma…er…new Voth!”

At that, Ambrose laughed, “Careful, you’re picking up on our idioms.”

“Is that the same as an idiot?  Are you insulting me?”  Cardamon didn’t appear offended, just curious.

“No, it’s…two very different things.  Has anyone insulted you?”

A shake of the head, “No, but given my research on the video screens, it’s almost a rite of passage among humans in this world.  As if it’s necessary for discourse.”

Ambrose sighed, “I think we’re going to have to get you away from the television and into something more…constructive.”  He could see the look on the Voth’s face, and he relented, “Fine, you can drive.  Just…don’t kill us.”

Cardamon excitedly hopped to the driver’s side, “I will promise you I will not kill us.  You are not as tasty as the deer venison we cooked after the…incident.” Harris stared at the Voth, who replied out of concern, “What…did I say something wrong?  I’ve been working hard at avoiding that.”

He shook his head, “No, just…maybe don’t talk about eating humans again.”

The Voth got really excited, “Oh!  I’ve been learning about puns.”  He looked at Harris with a menacing smile that was not intended to be menacing.  “Does it leave…a bad taste in your mouth?”  Cardamon lost it and laughed, tapping the wheel of the car as he chuckled, chortled, and chuckled some more.

Harris groaned, “Drive the car, Cardamon.”  The Voth quietly laughed throughout the rest of the drive as he remembered the pun he’d made.