Roger was….nervous. Which was odd, because he knew it was normal and healthy to see a psychologist on the regular, even outside of Fleet-required yearly exams. He’d, himself, sent folks to Dr. Choi when he felt it was necessary for them. So why was he so worried? Roger was a worrier by nature, and, worse-was his own worst critic. His own few semesters of psych classes made him realize that he NEEDED a fresh perspective; he’d not dealt with the trauma from the Dominion War, nor had he dealt with the trauma of his childhood-his same-gender parent was a cold, distant man who withheld emotion. It affected his self-esteem, which is why he threw himself into his work-saving other people like he couldn’t save himself. However, he was now a family man, and he needed to be a better parent as his daughter was nearing older childhood-she’d be seven soon, and was no longer a ‘baby’ that needed Daddy 24/7, and that…was a change he hadn’t prepared for. PLUS his wife was wanting a second child, and he wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On the one hand, if they were going to do it, they needed to do it SOON because they were both older parents already-while Lucy was five years younger than him, they were both in their 50’s and it would be more difficult. Plus, her first pregnancy had been difficult and if this one was as hard as the first, he might not cope with facing a possible loss of mother, child, or both. Suffice to say, as he paced the hallways, he realized he NEEDED it, so he knocked once, softly, at the door. “Dr. Choi? I am ready.” He let out a sigh. 

Egrel was standing and waiting for his next patient, PADD in hand. He found it a little ironic that the tables have turned now. Whereas before Egrel needed Roger’s help, now Roger needed Egrel’s help it seemed. He gave the man time to come in on his own terms, already sensing his anxiety and worry. The last thing he needed was a psychologist hounding after him. 

Egrel smiled at the knock at the door, saying, “Enter.” At his command, the doors slid open with a hiss, allowing Roger into the rather cozy office. Egrel made sure any patients he took were comfortable, “Did you want anything from the replicators? I’m glad to see you, Roger.” He smiled warmly at him, going over to grab himself some tea while he was still up.

Roger just nodded. “Thanks.” He entered the office, looking around. It was pretty cozy, but was DEFINITELY a psychologist’s office. “No, thank you. I had some coffee just now…probably too much.” He sat. “Thanks for agreeing to see me; I know you’re busy.” 

Egrel sat down with his tea. Instead of sitting across the desk facing Roger and making everything feel stiff adn formal, he sat in a chair beside him, facing him. He cupped his mug in his hands and shook his head, “Not too buyy at all, trust me.” He offered the other man a kindly smile, “What brings you here today? What’s troubling you?”

What was troubling him? The entire universe. He decided to start with the most pressing issue, though. “When we were on R&R, my wife decided to tell me she wants another child. We’re older parents, and…she won’t have much time left.” 

Egrel nodded slowly, “You are worried about her safety during carrying and delivering a child now that you are older? Was it a dificult delivery for your first child?” He could sense that the poor man had a lot on his mind though he didn’t pry much more than that, waiting for the man to tell him.

Damn, Choi was good. Roger sighed, and nodded. 

“Yes, with Minnie-our first-Lucy was sick ALL the time, nearly bled out when she actually delivered. I was SO afraid to lose her. AND the baby. She was on bedrest the last three months and it was tough. We were at DS9 then, and I was trying to work AND care for her and it was a lot of work. Don’t get me wrong-I don’t regret it for a moment, because I wouldn’t have Minnie, but I just wish it was possible for me to just…not go through that again. On the other hand, we BOTH wanted a few children, just one each to replace us. I have two sisters myself, and Lucy’s got several siblings.” He paused to think about his next words. “But mostly, I wonder if I can do it. I am nearly 60; while Lucy is twelve years younger than me, it’s still…a lot. My father is gone now, died young, and I fear the same for myself.” He stopped there. There was MORE, a lot more, and Roger could prattle on for HOURS, namely about Lucy, but Choi likely didn’t want to hear it, at least not today. He made a mental note to himself to ask how the man was doing after his brain surgery, but at the end of the session. He was TRYING to care for himself for once. 

Egrel nodded slowly as he listened to Roger talk. He couldn’t personally relate to Roger, not being a parent or even wishing to be a parent himself, however, with his empathy, he was able to fully understand where he was coming from. The Betazoid spoke softly, “If I may offer some ideas and solutions?” 

Roger simply nodded.. 

He paused momentarily before continuing, “I can see several options. Surrogacy and adoption are two very valid options. We have ample opportunities with our technology. What kind of support system do you and Lucy have? Relatives or friends who can help child mind or look after Lucy or yourself?”

“Yes, my older sister is very involved, and Lucy has her whole family. Mine is…spread out back on Earth; after my father died, my mother moved in with my younger sister and her family. They don’t really have a lot to do with my self or Deborah-that’s my older sister, I am in the middle. She is a lesbian and they disagree with that. I personally think the heart wants what it does.” He paused a beat. “Lucy’s got several siblings and her parents are both still alive. Plus we both have a few friends in the Fleet and even not. Mine are all fellow StarFleet, though. I…tend to be a bit of an introvert, so it’s harder for me to meet people. Luce is the opposite-always the life of the party. We’ve been on the ship, for-what? Several weeks now?-and she’s already made friends with some of the other moms, and the kids get together regularly.” He was ignoring the man’s words for a moment, but finally got to the point. “I know we have the technology to have another child. I don’t know if I have the space in my life for another child.” There. He’d said it aloud. It sounded cold, maybe. 

Egrel nodded slowly as he listened without judgement. He frowned slightly, “Poor Deborah. I thought we were past that in this century.” As a Betazoid, he really didn’t understand why some parents would disapprove of who their child would love. He nodded again as Roger finished his rambling, “Have you spoken to your wife at all about your concerns or worries? If you think it would be beneficial to have a neutral third party sit in and help… mediate for a lack of a better word, I’d be happy to fit you two in.”

Roger nodded. “Yes, we’ve discussed it. A few times. A neutral discussion might work. She’d be open to that, I think. I will ask her.” He paused a moment. “And yes, I would’ve thought we’d be past it, as well, but our father is…a cold man, distant. Uncaring. I’d think he was an alien being if I weren’t otherwise sure. He’s ok with the kids-my younger sister has a few, too, but still-I think it’s difficult for him. He was an only child, and my grandfather was absent a lot for his work, my grandmother hired a nanny to care for my father, so I suppose it’s to be expected, but, it really bother Minnie. She’s much more like Lucy-outgoing and vivacious. It’s exhausting at times, actually, to have two people like that in my life. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world.” It was fact-he LIVED for those women. 

Egrel briefly wondered if Roger was prone to rambling this much on a normal basis or if this was just a nerves thing. He nodded his head slowly as he listened, sipping his tea slowly. There was a lot to unpack with this man, but he thought it would be better to adress the topic Roger initially came here for, “My suggestion would be approach the topic of a neutral discussion or a join session together with me to approach this. We can discover more avenues forward from there. Was there anything else you wanted to discuss with me at the moment?” His dark eyes searched Roger’s face.

Roger nodded. “Sounds good. I will let you know as soon as I can discuss it with Lucy. I think she’d actually appreciate it; it can’t be easy following me around the Universe while I try to save people.” He finished his drink, and let out a sigh. Actually, he was feeling buoyed-getting it out was really helpful to his mindset. It was important for the doctor be on an even keel-being too messed up mentally was dangerous in medicine. “I have many thing, but they’re probably best left for a different session, Counselor.” It was true, he’d need a series of visits with the man, but for the moment, his center of balance was righted again. “Thank you.” With that, he stood to leave. “Pop by the MedBay when you can and we can arrange something, or I’ll drop in here at one of my meal breaks.” He showed himself out, heading back to get some work done, feeling refreshed. It would be ok, no matter what he and Lucy decided. In the end, they’d figure it out. It’s what they’d done for ten years, and what they’d do forever. 

Egrel smiled warmly, “We’ll arrange something soon. My doors are always open for more sessions whenever you feel the need, Roger.” He watched the man depart. Once the doors closed, the Betazoid let out a heaving sigh adn rubbed his temples, “He’s an introvert, my arse.” He stood up to get more tea from his replicator to write up a report and mentally process the session with his patient.