Only one more day to go, and they would arrive at the grid, where the Damascus would perform their routine investigation into what is potentially the find of the century. Sazra had been spending the last few days in the science lab and trying to cover the work that T’Path was supposed to do and, at the same time, also do her obligated duties as a Captain. Now she finally had some time to relax, sitting on the couch that had a beautiful view of the stars passing by. Her feet were on the couch. Her shoes were off. Having a PADD in her hands, she was lost in her thoughts of everything that had happened. The door chime went, and Sazra sat up for a second from her pillow position and looked at the door. She straightened up her hair as the door chime went again. “Yea, yea, come in,” getting her hair right as she was not expecting anyone.

The door opened as Silina walked into the room and saw that the room was slightly darkened. Her eyes fell upon Sazra on the couch. Silina blinked at her. Seeing her Captain in a relatively defenseless position stopped her thoughts for a second. “Am I coming at the wrong time?” She made already a gesture to exit the room.

Sazra raised her hand and shook her head. “No, I am just getting comfortable while reading these latest rapports. Don’t worry. I will take a break after this,”. She lowered her hand and placed the PADD at her side, “What can I do for you?” getting her feet on the soft floor to sit up better and face the Commander. “I know you have been going around the clock with some of my duties, so before you begin…sorry for that,” Sazra shrugged.

Letting a smile go for a second, Silina gave her a nod. “You better be sorry, but I know you are doing quite a lot, and it is my job to lift that burden from your shoulders as well as possible. You still have that mindset from back on the Jaxartes that you have to do everything on your own”. Silina walked to her and sat down at an empty spot beside her, “But you are not alone. We are here to help you. Be it old or new crew. This is our duty.”

She didn’t feel uncomfortable looking at Silina, who sat beside her. Sazra had her hair messy. Her jacket was on the chair, and her clothing was a mess. Her shoes were on the ground as if she looked like a teenager who came home and didn’t care anymore. But in her case, she was so drawn to the information she didn’t even notice. Yet, with Silina here with her, she felt comfortable and at ease.

“So…your silence is admitting to the problem?” Silina preyed on Sazra with narrowed eyes and a lecturing pose. 

Nodding to Silina, “Yes, I have the tendency to get back into my old habits. But it is good to have friends that know me well enough to notice these deviations in my behavior and correct them when needed. ” Sazra leans back on the couch, letting her head hang to the side to look at Silina. “Being a harsh teacher is not your style, Silina” It was a long time since she named one of her friends by the name and not by rank. But there was no crime committed right now, right? No one was there to notice this time of weakness. 

Shaking her head, “Always too late to see what is happening right in front of you, but that is how you are….” Silina looked at her PADD and shrugged, “Reports are all over the map, ships disappearing, conflicts arising, people getting wounded. Delta Quadrant is too much for us; we are outgunned and outmatched and will not win this battle of attrition. What did we get ourselves into now?” Silina was not quite here for a report, but more to vent her feelings about this operation. 

Sazra looked up at the ceiling as she could see the reflections of the stars passing by. “We are here to maintain order, to help out where needed, and to explore the unknown” Sazra smiled, thinking about her adventures. “As we did at Typhon, we both know the vast amount of things out there and still out of our grasp. We want to learn and understand the surrounding universe” She smiled. So many things had to happen: “Remember when Adrián burned his ass by sitting on an active plasma conduit.” 

“Oh please, it took me weeks to let him stop whining about his ass still hurt. While the burn was not even that severe, to begin with,” Silina finally smiled. “Or when Rami fell into the same bait of a trap again by grabbing supplies at the docks.” 

Sazra placed her hand on her face, shaking her head, “Don’t remind me. That took me weeks to get cleared with the docking personnel. Deep Space 17 will kick my ass if I ever let him on those docks again” She lowered her hand while on her face and smiled. “Or T’Path not understanding human traditions like Christmas and such…what was it again what she said about that?” 

“Uhmm, It doesn’t make sense to believe in a man in a red suit and a bag with presents. It would be very suspicious if someone with those descriptions were walking on the starbase” Silina repeated what she remembered as they both laughed about it. “If Rami had not stopped her after Adrián pointed at that Admiral trying to do a Santa Claus act, she would have gotten kicked to a brig”.

Nodding to that, “Ahh, those were an amazing time. We learned so much. Seen so much, and now we are actually still doing what we all loved so oh so much” Sazra looked up again, thinking back at all the good memories.

Looking at Sazra, who was lying there as her smile faded, “But when you were away from us when the IRS took you away. We were scared, and we were restless and divided. Where Adrián screamed his mind out of what to do next, I had to keep it to myself. I had to stay professional and deal with it” Silina struggled since everything went down. “So much happened, and I never realized what you meant ….to us” Looking back, Sazra was still staring upwards.

“I consider everyone’s feelings during that time, being a prisoner of the Romulans. Getting their lovely treatments sometimes literally shocked me. I did what I had to do to prevent diplomatic instability. People could get hurt if they knew what was with those numbers. But you know, in that time and everything went down, I kept holding onto one thought”. She paused for a second, thinking about those memories where she was bleeding on the ground, “I kept thinking about every one of the Jaxartes. Is Adrián not wounded again, does Rami know to keep a close eye on the systems, would T’Path ever be able to figure out what socializing was….and would you figure out what I felt for” 

When Sazra wanted to finish her sentence, Silina leaned forward and kissed Sazra’s lips with her eyes closed. The drips of tears fell onto Sazra face as Silina moved her hands on Sazra’s shoulder to pull her closer to her. Silina wondered if she would accept this, was her kiss in prison a fake one? An act of desperation to feel loved again after going through such an amount of torture and brutality. She felt connected to her after that, and Silina felt distant, growing more and more. Every time she wanted to address the issue of what had happened in that prison, Sazra would avoid the topic and talk about something else. Now she couldn’t escape it any longer. She had to confirm it, ‘Just do something…’ She thought.

She felt the drips of tears on her face and the warm lips of Silina on her own. Sazra looked with big eyes at the sad Silina, who had her eyes closed. Lifting her right hand, her eyes looked at every inch of Silina as her hand finally touched the side of Silina’s cheek. Letting her hand slide through her long hair and placing it on her neck, she gently pulled her towards her and slowly closed her eyes, accepting the kiss.

It took a good few minutes before the passionate kiss was over, and their lips separated as both opened their eyes to look at each other. Silina had no idea what just happened as she felt the warm hand from Sazra slide off her neck. But her gaze was still locked on Sazra, who looked so defenseless, “I had to confirm. I felt you were avoiding me after we did kiss back at the prison, and it felt awkward. I wanted to know for sure. I wanted to know how you felt if you hated me after that and” 

With a quick lift and a pull from her hand that she placed back, Sazra kissed her again and pushed her down on the couch. She lifted her head, looking at the surprised Silina. “You talk too much, Commander…” With that said, she resumed her kiss, and was now calmer, warmer, and more pleasant as Sazra unzipped her jacket, letting her take the lead in this new turn of events. Sazra had been burning with her emotions and feelings for years, so she acted on an impulse back at the prison. She thought she would die, and her final moment was when the one she cared so much about was there to say goodbye. But she didn’t want to leave the stage without expressing her feelings and what Silina meant. 

Letting Sazra take the lead, Silina could feel, with every kiss, the passion and gentleness of Sazra. Was this burning passion always there? Did Sazra always desire her? Sazra was always a person of the rules, protocols, and being formal. But maybe this was her way to escape her true feelings. She must have felt so alone all this time. Memories of old missions pass through Silina’s mind, making it more apparent how much Sazra cared for her crew and her. Silina felt the kisses on her neck suddenly stopping when the combadge went off.

“Bridge to Ruslanovna, we require your presence at the bridge” 

Sazra sit up and was sighted in a response of disbelief and disappointment, looking outside and trying to catch her breath. She was too much into it, and she let it all go. At that moment, did she go too far?

Silina took a second to gather her thoughts of what just happened to her and sat up and quickly stood up, pressing the combadge “Yes…Ruslanovna here,” She said, out of breath, trying to get her uniform correct again and her hair in shape.

“There are some systematic problems, and we are informed to ask you to look at the systems. Commander Valerio had just gotten off his shift and went to his quarters for the night. Are you alright? You seem out of breath, Commander.” 

“I am perfectly fine, don’t worry about me. I will head to the bridge in a second. Ruslanovna out” The communication cuts off as Silina stands there frozen and still processing what just happened “I ….well…you heard” 

Sazra shrugged again and nodded “I heard yes, I still got a rapport to get through” Sazra rolled her eyes and wished she tapped the PADD that she had laid aside. 

Nodding to that, “I will ….we will talk later on,” Silina said walking to the exit to get out of the situation, still no idea what just happened.

“Commander….” 

Silina stopped and turned back at Sazra, holding up her PADD, and nodded to her as she walked back to grab the PADD. But Sazra had another idea in her mind as Silina suddenly found her pulled towards Sazra, who quickly stood up and took advantage of the gravity by pulling the PADD to her. Silina looked at her as her lips touched those of Sazra.

Pulling away from Silina’s lips, “We will talk later on. Go get back to your shift Commander” Sazra gave her soft smile as she saw Silina nodding nervously and leaving the room. Sazra sat down on the couch and let her body fellow backward. Her head turned outside to the beautiful stars passing the window, and a little smile appeared while her hand was placed above her heart. She finally did it. She finally expressed her hidden love for her best friend.