The door opened on a living space big enough to make Nate Beckett stop in the doorway.

‘Okay,’ he said.

Thawn walked past him into the room – the crew quarters assigned to Endeavour’s Chief Engineer – and did a slow turn on the spot. The layout was default, the ship barely out of dock. But ‘default’ on a Yorktown-class turned out to mean a sunken seating area, a dining space that could seat six comfortably, and windows. Actual windows, not holo-projections or viewports with delusions. They ran across the outer wall and currently looked out over Gateway’s docking infrastructure, which was not the most romantic view but was definitely a view.

‘Okay,’ said Beckett again, still in the doorway.

‘You can come in.’

‘I’m giving myself a moment.’ He stepped inside, and the door slid shut behind him, and he turned a slow circle before he looked up. ‘Rosara. You’ve got a second floor.’

She looked up at the mezzanine. ‘I know. Standard issue for the senior-most officers.’

‘I don’t have a second floor.’

‘That’s because we’ll need to offer the high-level accommodation to a squadron leader, ambassador, major squadron staff -’

‘Oh, so I drop down the priority list as the lowly intelligence officer, is that it?’

‘That is, in fact, it.’

Beckett’s gaze remained upward. ‘That’s a second floor on a starship.’ He crossed the room in three strides and put his hand on the stair railing. ‘Look at these. Actual stairs on an actual starship.’

‘Don’t act like it’s weird.’

‘It is weird!’ He started up them, one hand trailing the rail. ‘This is a big deal, I’m soaking it in, I – Rosara, there’s a bedroom up there.’

‘Where did you think it would be?’

‘It’s got a window, Rosara!’ His voice floated down with the reverence of a man in a cathedral. ‘You can lie in bed and look at the stars!’

Now he couldn’t see her, she didn’t try to smother her smile. ‘Right now, I’d lie in bed and see Gateway’s docking bay.’

‘We’ll be departing soon!’ He reappeared at the top of the stairs, looking down at her with the gleam where she knew he was performing delight, but the purpose of that performance was to delight her. Or frustrate her, which, for them, was almost the same thing. Now he watched her. ‘You’re doing the thing.’

She schooled her expression. ‘I’m not doing anything.’

‘That’s my point. This is big – I don’t just mean physically…’ He padded down the stairs, and now his gaze softened. ‘Bigger than the old ship.’

He looked at her like he was expecting something. She met his gaze. ‘The Yorktown class is nearly twice as big.’

‘But we were on the old Endeavour a long time. You were Chief Engineer a long time. And now she’s gone.’ The corners of his eyes creased.

Thawn exhaled. ‘I know. I signed off on the paperwork. I knew before Valance knew.’

‘That’s… a lot,’ he said, eyes searching her face.

‘It’s my job.’

He was silent, still watching her. She knew he thought she was hiding things, probably from herself, as well, and didn’t know how to ask more without pushing. But there was a clear way, a way which came to her as easy as breathing, when she let herself breathe, and she reached out with the edge of her thoughts, brushed against his. He stilled, his hold on her hands somehow softening but getting no looser, and she tried to pour in the reassurance, the sincerity –

The door-chime sounded. Thawn closed her eyes.

Beckett let go and glared. ‘Who’s already doing house-calls?’

‘Probably something to do with beaming my packing aboard,’ Thawn said soothingly, went to the door, and opened it to find her ex-husband.

She stared. ‘Adamant.’

‘Rosara.’ He was in uniform, filling it as well as he always did, shoulders broad and dark gaze earnest and serious, like they always were. His eyes drifted past her to see Beckett, hovering near the stairs as if trying to be obvious without being obtrusive. ‘Nate – it’s good to see you.’

Beckett clicked his tongue self-consciously. ‘Commander.’ He’d never quite figured out how to behave around Rhade.

‘Uh – come in.’ Thawn stepped back, finally wrong-footed. ‘Sorry about the state – I mean, I just arrived, so it’s all… standard decor – can I get you something?’

‘Thank you, but I don’t need to impose for long. I’m sure you both need to settle in.’ Rhade stepped inside, head inclining respectfully. ‘This is a fine ship.’

‘It’s pretty cool,’ said Beckett, voice quick, like he was on the verge of babbling, then he stared. ‘Oh, hell – are you off with Sirius, God knows where? D’you want me to – I can go -’

‘It’s quite alright, Nate,’ Rhade said calmly. ‘This affects you both. Because, no, I’m not departing with the Sirius. I’ve been reassigned.’

It had been a while since Thawn felt that tightening in her chest, the anxiety that vibrated at this exact frequency. It took more than a tough briefing to trigger it. Nothing less than the demands of her family would do, and with it came the old survival instincts. Narrow her focus, block off her feelings; whatever Rhade was projecting, whatever he felt, it was best to cut him off so he couldn’t feel what she felt, lest he be disappointed –

‘You’re joining Endeavour,’ she said in a voice that both felt not like her own, and yet was in so many ways her true voice.

‘I have been offered an assignment aboard,’ said Rhade, gentle in his firmness. ‘That’s why I’ve stopped by.’

Beckett padded over now, and through the walls she was throwing up, she was barely conscious of the subtle nudge from his mind to hers. His eyes did not leave Rhade’s, though his voice was airy as he protested, ‘They’re getting rid of my boy Eli?’

The levity made her look at him. ‘You hate Walker.’

‘He’s growing on me. Like fungus.’ He looked back at Rhade. ‘Or is he going on to bigger and better things at last?’

‘Commander Walker will stay aboard. The size of this ship and her mission profile means Captain Valance is to divide the Security and Tactical Departments,’ Rhade explained. ‘Walker will take on Tactical. I have been offered Security.’

‘Offered,’ Thawn echoed.

A gleam of frustration entered his eyes. Plainly, he felt misunderstood, and she realised he had been trying to make this as easy as possible through his Betazoid talents while she’d been running from the telepathic connection. ‘And I did not want to again impose myself on the USS Endeavour without being sure it was not unwelcome, Rosara.’ He spoke a little as if he were explaining things to a child.

Thawn hesitated, and she could feel Beckett’s eyes on her. ‘That’s… very considerate of you, Adamant…’

Rhade’s gaze flickered between them, and he straightened. ‘There are other roles available; I will speak with Captain Everard about a return to Gateway -’

‘No.’ He’d turned away, and Thawn stepped forward. ‘No, I – I’m sorry, Adamant, this was… a surprise, that’s all. Of course you shouldn’t set back your career for me.’

He glanced back, corners of his eyes creasing. ‘I would not have you compromise your career – your happiness, your stability – for me, Rosara. I have done that enough.’

‘It’s been two years, Adamant!’ Finally, the walls cracked, and the relief that washed out of her was as much for herself as him. ‘I think we can all be grown-ups about this, no?’

She felt him at the edge of her feelings, brushing just faintly against her relief, weighing it for sincerity, and again that made her flinch. But Adamant Rhade, for all he had been embroiled in her family’s machinations, had never pushed her. He had just been a more willing victim.

The problem had never been that he did not listen, or care, or even that he did not want to hear her. The problem had been that she had never spoken up. She could not blame him, now, for wanting to be sure.

Then he smiled – sincerely, softly, happily – and straightened. ‘I would like that very much, Rosara.’ His gaze landed on Beckett. ‘You have been silent, Nate.’

‘Me? Yeah. I do that when it’s not my decision.’ She could feel the nerves quivering in him; not his master, but present alongside a good dolloping of guilt. Beckett had, after all, outright asked her to leave Rhade for him two years ago, and the fact that everyone in this room knew that had been the right choice did not abolish all awkwardness.

‘This is a fine ship, Adamant,’ Thawn said more firmly. ‘And I, for one, would feel a lot safer with you as Chief of Security.’

Rhade inclined his head deeply. ‘Thank you, Rosara. If you’re sure – I’ll speak with Captain Valance and confirm the offer. To be clear, she offered to talk to you, but I said…’

‘It’s fine. Thank you for being considerate, Adamant.’

The advantage of not closing herself off, she thought, was that Rhade could pick up when she was politely trying to get him to leave. He smiled again, self-aware, and inclined his head. ‘I shall let the two of you get back to settling in here.’

‘Oh,’ said Beckett as Rhade was leaving. ‘That’s not – we’re not -’ But the door slid shut behind Rhade, and his shoulders sank as he turned to Thawn. ‘Wow. You’re sure you’re okay with this?’

‘I don’t want to go back to sitting on what I feel for the sake of my family,’ said Thawn levelly, ‘but I truly have no problem with Adamant on board. Do you?’

‘No – not really. He’s always been an annoyingly good guy, and you know, I’d worry that makes me look bad, but then, I got the girl -’

At which point the girl stepped forward, brought her hands up to cup his face, and kissed him.

It was always the most effective way to shut Nate Beckett up, and when she pulled back, he was grinning a toothy grin. ‘What’s that for? Not that I’m complaining, but I don’t need insecurity reassurance -’

She slid her hands down to link them behind his neck and brushed her nose against his. ‘You should settle in here.’

‘Pretty sure that when you’ve got the bigger quarters, I’ll definitely be here more than you’re at my place -’

‘Nate.’

He met her eyes and bit his lip. ‘You’re gonna need to use your words, just so I know what you’re -’

Instead, she kissed him again. Reached out with her senses towards his, first a careful brush, and then, when she felt him respond, an outpour. She did not use her words, because words were too clumsy, their precision demanding she put what she felt into a single definition, a single box.

Be with me. Be here with me. Always.

And more than that; the surety that this was not an evasive backlash from Adamant’s presence. That Rhade, in fact, was part of this – being here now, what she’d seen at Boreth of the life with Adamant Rhade, where her blood never pounded in her ears from love and desire like it did with Nate Beckett. She could have talked about it. They had talked about it.

Now, all she wanted was for him to understand. For him to be certain.

His arms had snaked around her, his surprise pouring into the kiss as much as his enthusiasm, and by the time he pulled back, breath a little shaky, his gaze was clear.

‘Yeah,’ said Nate Beckett, casual in his words even though she could sense the singing in his heart. ‘Yeah, I think I fancy moving into a place like this.’