“Lieutenant Oliver, it has been awhile.”

The solitary booming voice made Michelle jump as she looked up from what she was doing to see the familiar face of Michael Ryder. She smiled and stood up straightening her uniform. She had not seen Michael for a long time, in fact probably since the Academy. They kept in touch, but the surprise of seeing him on the Station was apparent.

“Lieutenant Ryder, I can say I had no idea that you would be coming to the station. What are you doing here?” she asked, trying to figure out what was going on.

Michael chuckled “Come on Michelle, we have known each other long enough that titles don’t matter in this case. The ship had to come in for resupply so I figured since I had some free time I would come see how you are doing.”

Michelle settled down knowing this wasn’t a formal visit. She motioned to the nearby chair for Michael to sit. “Do you want anything to drink?” she asked as she headed towards the replicator.

Michael nodded, “I will take an iced raktajino.”  

Michelle nodded and replicated his drink, as well as a plain black coffee for herself. She brought the drinks over and sat back down at her desk clasping her fingers. “So how has things on the Aurelius been? I saw you made Chief.”

The small talk was a normal filler, but Michael knew Michelle and could tell something was bothering her. He had known her since the Academy and those same behaviors existed in how she carried herself. “I can see you’re trying to subvert the conversation by asking first. You know full well how I have been. I know you keep tabs on me.” he said looking at Michelle without blinking.

Michelle was fidgeting with a clip on her desk trying to avoid eye contact with him. It was a sign of guilt and she knew that, but it didn’t change the fact that Michael knew her better than most. “I have never been able to fool you. You have always been one step ahead of me and it looks like that isn’t ever going to change. I have been fighting some doubts on the validity of what I do.”

Michael took a sip of his drink with his eyebrow raised “Can you elaborate on what you mean?”

She sighed “Is what we do really something that matters? Like Starfleet says we are doing everything for the good of the Federation, but does what we do really change the outlook of war?”

Michael was shocked by the question. It wasn’t something he had ever had thoughts about because it was who he was as a Starfleet officer. “Of course what we do matters. I can’t say if it would change the outlook of war, but they started it from the time that the Federation was formed. How can we say if it would change the war?”

Michelle shook her head “If the Federation wouldn’t have tried to expand then would the enemies have ever bothered us? Maybe because of the allies we made, but would it have changed things? The Klingons have been pushing towards our borders even if no one tells you that. We always seem to make strides towards peace then we go five steps in the wrong direction because of the actions of superiors. So if we are doing the right thing then why do we have this never ending cycle of war?”

The comments did leave room for thought, but never any doubt about the ideals of the Federation. “Are you saying you doubt the Federation and the ideals we have lived to uphold?”

Michelle shrugged “I am not saying that, but you have to admit it seems like there is more to this.”

Michael shook his head “You’re the intel person. If the Klingons are pushing towards our borders I imagine command is working on a way to fight them back, but after all Worf did I don’t think the whole empire is against us. If we sat and never worked to become the Federation and just stayed on Earth where would we be now? Probably still struggling as a civilization. So war never changes. It happened before we knew of other planets and galaxies and it will continue regardless of our involvement.”

Michelle nodded “I guess that’s true, but I still feel there is more to it. I know that it is something I need to work through, but it won’t change who I am.”

Michael smiled “You have always had a strong will and the ability to overcome the issues that come. I recommend if these doubts continue that you speak to the station counselor and maybe your superior so they can help you quell these thoughts.”

She nodded “I will take that under advisement. I am sorry that I brought our conversation to such an unhappy venture, but it has been bothering me and I needed to voice it to someone I trust. And you have been someone I have trusted for a long time. I am hoping that will never change.”

Michael smiled “You have always been a good friend and if I can help you be a better you then I will always do what I can to help you. I hope that I never lose your trust either. I will never do anything to try and lose it.”

Michelle stood up and walked around her desk to give Michael a hug “Thanks for coming and checking on me I appreciate it.”

Michael nodded “I am glad I could. I would love to stay longer but I have a few other things I need to do. So I am going to go ahead and head out. Don’t be a stranger.”

Michelle smiled and watched Michael walk out of the office. She sat back down at her desk and frowned. The truth was she still didn’t agree with Michael and if it kept going this way she didn’t even think she would be a part of Starfleet much longer.