“We both know what happened down there.”

It was for the mission. That’s why they did it. He didn’t pump the Vorta full of psychoactives. That was Dr. Hall. But he stood there, and he let it happen. And when Captain Lewis raised his sidearm, he didn’t object. He let that happen too. He wanted it to happen, to avenge Lieutenant Commander Brock Jordan, Lieutenant Kora Tal, Petty Officer Jason Atwood, Crewman Nam Jae-Sun, Ryssehl Th’zathol, and the nine hundred and thirty other officers and crew who lost their lives on Nasera to that monster and its orderlies. Did that make him complicit?

“Lieutenant Morgan, you’ve been an outstanding officer your entire career,” Commander Robert Drake continued. He could see the exhaustion and the numbness in the young man’s eyes. This was not someone happy with the choices they’d made. “I see the guilt in your eyes, just as I have with so many who have gotten swept up in the machinations of hardened criminals. You didn’t go to Nasera City with the intent to dishonor your service, but that’s exactly what you did…  unless you come clean.”

He did not dishonor his service, Lieutenant J.G. Morgan assured himself. He went down to Nasera II to free its people from the yoke of the Dominion. He fought for the lives of those colonists, and for the lives of those on the Polaris, the Ingenuity, the Diligent, and the others from Task Group 514. That’s why they did what they did. If Dr. Hall hadn’t melted the monster’s mind to compel him to end the battle, thousands more would have died. That much he was sure of. But what about when Captain Lewis executed the creature? The battle was already won, and the Vorta was no threat. That had been revenge, plain and simple. Was he wrong to have let it happen?

“We are not judge, jury and executioner,” Commander Drake reminded him. “We do not decide who lives and who dies. Not here, not over Nasera II, and not over Earth.”

Earth? How did the JAG know about that? The memories started flooding back into his mind. He was shot in the chest. He fell onto the cobblestone streets of Milan. He awoke to fire ants and molten ore. And then Drake was there. Robert Drake. The same JAG Officer who now sat across from him. No, that was not Drake on Earth. That was a Changeling. But it didn’t change the image in his mind. He was reliving that trauma as he went through this one.

“And to be clear, I don’t mean your B&E at the FNN broadcast center in Milan, nor the mysterious explosion in the hills outside Healdsburg that you all deny taking part in,” Commander Drake smirked, hinting that he knew more than he’d let on as a way to try and force the lieutenant’s hand. “No, I mean when you took the initiative to try and detonate the Serenity’s warp core while in Fleet Formation. You would have killed tens of thousands of Starfleet officers. Does that not bother you? It should.”

In those desperate moments, it had felt like the only option. Kill tens of thousands to give billions on Earth a chance. That was how Dr. Brooks and Chief Shafir justified it to him, and that was how Lieutenant J.G. Morgan justified it to himself. In the end, they were wrong though. It wasn’t necessary. Admiral Picard stopped the assimilation signal. He’d been seconds away from killing tens of thousands of good sailors for nothing. How could he have come so close? He wasn’t sure he wanted to let himself be in a position like that again. He’d learned something about himself that terrified him.

“You can sit there silently, refusing to answer my questions, but it doesn’t change the cold, hard truth that you violated your duty, your honor, and your convictions,” Commander Drake said with biting words as his eyes narrowed on the operations officer. “How can you live with yourself after that?”

He wasn’t sure.

“And your silence won’t save you from another cold, hard truth,” Commander Drake closed as he rose from his chair. “By the end of the week, I will be charging you and your co-conspirators with war crimes that will see you stripped of your commissions and locked up for a decade or two. Whether for conscience or cowardice, think long and hard about whether your silence is worth it. They don’t deserve your loyalty.”

Without another word, Commander Drake spun on his heels and strode briskly out of the interview room. Although the lieutenant hadn’t said anything of value during the deposition, the JAG officer still had hope that the kid would crack when he saw the charge sheet. He needed him to crack. He was certain that Captain Lewis and Dr. Hall had committed war crimes on Nasera II, but without Morgan’s testimony, the circumstantiality of the rest of the evidence would make it hard to get a conviction.

For a moment, Lieutenant J.G. Morgan just sat there, alone in the silence of his own thoughts. But he didn’t want to be alone with his thoughts. He couldn’t be alone in his own thoughts. His mind was taking him nowhere good. 

Had he dishonored his oath and betrayed his values?

Had he lost his way in the madness?

Could he come back from this?

Did he want to?

Lieutenant J.G. Morgan forced himself back to his feet, and dazedly he eventually found his way to the transporter room. He needed to get off the Polaris. Maybe he could find some serenity back on the Serenity… at least until they dragged him off the ship and threw his ass in prison.

He wasn’t ready to go to prison. But he wouldn’t betray his team.

They had done what needed to be done. He was sure of it.

There had to be another option.

The transporter room shimmered and vanished as his matter stream was transferred off the USS Polaris, and a few moments later, he found himself standing on a transporter pad aboard the USS Serenity. 

As opposed to the Polaris, which was a small city that never slept, the Serenity was a small ship, and the night shift was actually quite downtempo. The transporter room was dark, and the chief was half asleep. Lieutenant J.G. Morgan appreciated that. He didn’t want to talk. He simply stepped off the pad and made his way out into the quiet corridors of the ship. 

He didn’t have a purpose. He didn’t know where he was going. He just sort of wandered, one foot in front of the other, as his mind raced. But then a voice cut in through the silence.

“Evenin’ Jace.”

Lieutenant J.G. Morgan turned to see Captain Jake Lewis, his Commanding Officer and the man that had led the mission to Nasera II, standing there in the middle of the corridor with his arms folded across his chest. The captain looked calm as ever. How was he always so unphased? Not just about the JAG investigation, but about everything. Captain Lewis had tortured and killed that Vorta without batting an eye, and even Frontier Day seemed not to have bothered him in the slightest. It wasn’t natural, and it wasn’t normal. And now, as Lieutenant J.G. Morgan thought about it, it sort of scared him. “Evening sir,” he said as he fumbled with his words. “How’s everything going so far tonight?”

“I was going to ask you the same question,” Captain Lewis replied as he furled his brow. He could see something was wrong through the shadow cast across the young man’s face. “You had to sit with Drake, didn’t you?” He already knew the answer. It was why he’d arranged to bump into the man.

“I did,” nodded Lieutenant J.G. Morgan, fairly certain he knew the real intent of this run in. “But I said nothing. He doesn’t get it. None of them do. They weren’t there. We did what needed to be done.”

“That we did,” Captain Lewis nodded contentedly. A year prior, he’d sought the young operations officer out to join his Hazard Team. By trade, Jace Morgan had an excellent track record in operations, specializing in digital systems, and by his pastimes, he was a fitness buff and a martial arts practitioner. That made him a perfect candidate for the unit Lewis was putting together, and under Lewis’ tutelage, Morgan had blossomed into an excellent operator. Lewis knew Morgan had a long career ahead of him, as long as he could keep cool and get through the present situation.

“He’s committed to getting to the bottom of Nasera,” Lieutenant J.G. Morgan warned. “He’s nasty, biting, and a hungry shark.”

“I prefer to describe him as a soft skinned, ivory tower douchebag with an overstated sense of self-importance,” chuckled Captain Lewis as he thought back to when he almost split that pathetic little lawyer in two against the bulkhead. And he’d totally do it again if not for the fact that battering the investigating officer would only help the JAG impugn his character at the hearing. “Don’t let him get to you.”

“It’s not him that’s getting to me,” Lieutenant J.G. Morgan opened up. “It’s what we did that gets me. You see, I have some sense of what our captive went through after what I went through in Healdsburg.” He shivered as he recalled the torture he’d been put through in the basement. “It was unbearable, and to think we did that to another living…”

“Living?” Captain Lewis stopped him mid-sentence, recognizing this was not a healthy line of thinking for the young man. “You can’t think of the Vorta like that. It isn’t living like you or I. It’s simply a construct cooked up in a lab to carry out the orders of its master.”

“I suppose. But Ensign Bragg wasn’t.”

“Ensign Bragg?”

“The security officer I shot dead in Mister Ellis’ quarters,” sighed Lieutenant J.G. Morgan regretfully. His face fell as he thought back to that moment. “He was a good kid. We’d had breakfast together only a week prior. His only mistakes were being twenty four and being in that room with us when the Borg signal overtook him.”

“You didn’t have a choice, Jace. It was him or you.”

“And I suppose you’ll tell me the same for each and every one of the officers that me and Ayala and Dr. Brooks killed as we fought our way to Main Engineering?” He didn’t even want to think about how many young men and women he’d killed in those desperate moments.

“Jace, they had become Borg. If we did not succeed, they were worse than dead anyway,” Captain Lewis pointed out. He’d faced a similar choice aboard Sol Station, and he’d made the same decision. It was the right decision. “You were fighting to ensure the survival of our civilization.”

“We keep telling ourselves that, Cap,” Lieutenant J.G. Morgan replied. “But I don’t think I’m ready to play god yet.” He’d decided life or death for far too many for him to stomach.

“Eh, you’ll get used to it,” Captain Lewis offered as he placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. “Go pour yourself a stiff one and get some sleep. It may not feel like it right now, but in the end, you’ll realize you did good.”

It certainly didn’t feel that way to him, nor did he think he would – or should – ever get used to it.