Part of USS Constellation: Bynar Love Songs

Bynar Love Songs – 2

USS Constellation, Photon Torpedo Control
April 2401
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Sinking his whole weight into it, Kellin pressed the heel of his palm into the tritanium railing until it locked into the torpedo launcher tube.  The machined pieces interlocked with the most satisfying clacking sound. Kellin had lost count of precisely how many launcher tracks he had reassembled as an ensign.  Maybe it had been a hundred or maybe it had been a thousand?  Either option was just as plausible as the other.  He cast a sidelong glance at the parametric scanner he’d left on the deck, but he didn’t need much reassurance from its readout display.  He knew what torpedo tube alignment felt like by touch.

That wasn’t the only thing he felt. His stomach snarled. Contributing to the repairs of Constellation’s torpedo launcher had consumed his mind and body for the last four hours. The tightness in his left shoulder and a pang of hunger in his gut signalled him to take some rest.  After packing up his equipment, Kellin handed off his toolkit to the duty engineer from the Avalon Fleet Yards.

The turbolift was silent.  The turbolift was still.  It wasn’t until Kellin’s eyes focused on the control console that he saw himself in the reflective surface.  The familiar, repetitive drudgery of repairing tactical systems had offered Kellin a welcome reprieve from perceiving himself.

Staring at his reflection, he could see that he had done it again. Before his shift, evidently, Kellin had unintentionally dressed himself in the mustard-shouldered uniform of chief security officer. There was still something… strangely repulsive about seeing himself draped in command crimson. He had no memory of being selected as this ship’s first officer. In practice, Captain Taes had promoted Kellin’s Changeling imposter. Taes had mentored the Changeling, celebrated with him. And Taes never noticed.

The way the turbolift doors hissed open elicited a pang in his stomach, one even stronger than hunger.  That sound reminded him of the stasis pod opening. Each time Kellin had awoken in the bowels of Deep Space Seventeen for weeks, that sound was his welcoming song, his door chime. That sound heralded the arrival of another Changeling, demanding, drugging, decking more information out of Kellin. They asked him about the ship, the crew, the security protocols, Taes—

The turbolift had paused on the wrong deck and Dolan was stood on the other side of the opening door. Kellin thought he saw a flinch. It looked like Dolan hesitated before stepping into the turbolift cab. Despite any hesitancy Kellin perceived, Dolan looked at him unblinkingly, looked right at him.

For his part, Kellin was standing in the centre of the cab. He didn’t think to step aside, to make room for Dolan. Dolan sucked in a deep breath and then he squeezed between Kellin’s left elbow and the wall of the turbolift cab.

As soon as Dolan requested his destination, Kellin spoke up.  He didn’t look at Dolan.  Kellin just kept his eyes forward, staring at the sealed doors.

“I can’t thank you enough, Melchor,” Kellin said to him.  “Since my first breath aboard Constellation, everyone has been so kind to me.  Even after all you’ve been through.  So kind.  I know you’ll want to be kind, but I also know you won’t lie to me.  You can’t.  I know you.  It would make you physically ill to lie to me.”

Kellin tilted his chin down to meet Dolan’s eyes.  “You confided in me when you were body-swapped with Captain Taes and you confided in me when you broke up with Nune.  You won’t lie to me.  I need you– I need you to tell me…”

“Do I still deserve to wear the uniform?” Kellin diffidently asked.

“You can’t ask me that, commander,” Dolan replied, rather swiftly.  He shook his head at Kellin without breaking eye contact.  “I haven’t collected enough data since you were rescued from–“

Sighing, Kellin interjected to say, “That’s not an answer.”

The turbolift came to a halt just as suddenly.  The doors opened onto deck eight.  Without a hint of hesitation betrayed by his body language this time, Dolan stepped off the turbolift car and he looked back.

“I won’t lie to you,” Dolan affirmed.  “I promise.  Kellin, I went on five and a half dates with you.  I believed it was you.  It wasn’t you.  It was the Changeling who wore your face.”

By fate or by design, Dolan didn’t say anything more because the turbolift doors closed between them.