“That’s a pretty terrifyin’ story, captain.” Juliet Woodward sat in her comfortable armchair while her captain sat on the cushy couch across from her.  The counseling offices had come with a small office for her work and several other rooms with the option to create interview rooms.  She had a PADD in her lap and took notes as they spoke.  Harris had finished telling her about the experience of the mirror universe T’saath.  “You obviously were affected by the revelation of your alternate.”

“I know it wasn’t me that did it, Lieutenant, but it is still hard to imagine facing her again when all she sees in me is the captain who killed everyone around her…and nearly succeeded in taking her out.”  He sat back, “It’s a lot to take in…and I’m still working through the losses on the Edinburgh and my cousin…it feels like a lot.  I’m learning the weight of command with each new mission we take.”

The Chief Counselor pursed her lips in thought, “Well, not to sound crass or anythin’, but she did kill the other you.  He’s long gone – ain’t never coming back to haunt her.  There’s a level of finality and closure most don’t get to experience.”  She sat forward, “I think you carry guilt as easy as anythin’, captain.  I think it makes it easier to carry rather than face it and work your way past it.”

He had been staring at the ornate rug that had been placed under the couch, trying to find his answers in the intricate weavings.  He lifted up his head, “My family’s history is founded and built on the Catholic faith – they’re very good at dispensing guilt to be carried.  My mother struggled with it when we kids were younger.  Her parents were pretty brutal with it.  What do they say about the sins of the father?”  He let out a dry chuckle, “Goddamn family can be the best and worst thing for you.”

Woodward continued making notes, “I know that pretty well, sir.  Families are complicated sometimes.”  She returned to something he’d mentioned earlier, “If your family was founded in guilt…how are you going to change that?  We’ve talked about your feelings for Jordan.”

Harris sighed wearily, “It’s been on my mind.  She deserves better than that.  If I can’t shrug off this stuff…”

She interrupted him, “We don’t shrug things off…we’ve talked about that.  We work through this stuff.”

Another weary sigh, “I know.  Just feels like it’d be easier sometimes.”

“Feelings are funny like that – they can save us or sabotage us, captain.”  She tapped at her PADD, “You love Jordan?”  He nodded wordlessly.  “Have you told her yet?”  He shook his head.  She gave him a long look, “You need to tell her, captain.  Part of getting through life is not doing it alone.  If she loves you, and you love her – you’ve got a partnership there.  Part of that is acceptin’ that you’re not going to hurt her as you’ve hurt yourself – you’re armed with knowledge, and you’ve got me on a weekly basis helping you see through the fog.”

He gave her a sarcastic reply, “It’s not that easy, is it?”

She shook her head, “No, it isn’t that easy.  Anything that’s worth living isn’t easy.  If it was easy, you wouldn’t need me or anyone else. That sounds like a pretty lonely existence, sir.”

Harris sat in the silence of the room for a few minutes, “It does sound lonely.  Can you help me figure out how not to end up like that?”

Her broad smile was part of her answer.  The other part was her reply, “It’s in my job description, sir.”  He returned the smile.