“Personal log.

Thea is dead.”  He sighed as he sat on the couch, his heart heavy.  It had been months since her death on the ship.  Half of the crew had died from the manufactured plague.  It had impacted the older crew, and despite everything that they had tried in the hours after discovering the reality…there had been nothing to do.  He had sat by her bed as she breathed her last and faded into the darkness.  They had found a way to save the younger population of the ship, and with the incredible help of operations, science, engineering, and more – they had saved lives.

The loss didn’t just sting.  It bled.  For many days and weeks after, it was a festering wound in his heart.  Even his good friend Asata Hiro had been unable to shake him loose from the loss.  Henry had lost the love of his life…and nothing was ever going to be good enough.  He let out another sigh and continued, “Her service helped.  I’ve kept to a minimum duty schedule.”  He felt like sighing again but held himself.  “It was hard in July.  I felt the darkness take over for most of the month.  It’s only been in the last few weeks that I’ve found myself able to see hope in the every day like I used to…but I remember her, and it’s just…it’s a thing.  If I was giving advice to me as a patient…,” he chuckled wryly to himself, “I’d tell myself to take the time to think about what I wanted to do next…to choose a wise direction for my emotions and feelings to go.”  He shook his head, “I’m not sure that staying here is going to help.  It’s an old part of a story when someone loses something so precious they have to leave for a time in order to find their way back.”  He paused and considered his words.  “I’m not sure I want to find my way back here.  The memories…are too much for me.  I know I should be stronger…but sometimes you have to admit when you need to find a new home and a new community to begin again.”  A sip of his soda and he finished with, “I’ve put in my application to a few stations and ships…I do not know if they’ll consider me…but it’s either that…or retire to some far away colony.”

He tapped the PADD, “End log.  Save.”  A beep, and it was done. Longfellow sighed.  He tapped a message to Asata.  They were overdue a conversation.