Mitchell’s words continued to ring in Matthias’ ears as he pulled on his duty uniform jacket the next morning. For the first time in over a week, his mind wasn’t screaming betrayal every time he thought of Taren. He’d known it was nothing of the sort, yet it took Mitchell’s confirmation before he could finally allow himself to believe it.
He wasn’t ready to start dating again. Hell, he wasn’t even sure if Taren was even remotely interested in him. Sure, they’d flirted, but that could just be how Taren was with everyone. Matthias hadn’t seen him interact with many other people. What he thought was mutual attraction could have been entirely one-sided.
“Only one way to find out,” Matthias muttered to the empty room as he studied his reflection.
The walk to Excelsior Plaza felt longer than normal, accompanied by a heavy thud in his chest. He was convinced people could hear it as they passed him in the corridor. When he reached the plaza, he found it buzzing with early morning activity. The holographic sky was gradually becoming a lighter shade of blue, people were going about their morning routines as they ducked into their favourite coffee shops and bakeries, while owners were bringing their shops to life.
Matthias queued with the rest of the morning crowd. Taren wasn’t behind the counter, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t there somewhere, out in the coffee shop’s store room perhaps. Matthias’ eyes were constantly scanning the room as the queue advanced.
“He’s not here.” The barista said softly when Matthias reached the counter.
Matthias looked blankly at the younger woman who was barely concealing a smirk. “What?”
“Taren,” The barista clarified. “He’s not here. He finished about twenty minutes ago.”
Refusing to show any sign of disappointment, Matthias nodded. “I’ll have a green tea to go.”
“Sure thing.”
When the barista turned her back, Matthias let his shoulders slump. Their conversation would have to wait until later. By the time she returned less than a minute later and placed the cup in front of him, Matthias had regained his composure.
“He usually stops by Okoye’s bakery on his way home,” The barista told him. “If you’re quick, you might still be able to catch him.”
Matthias plucked the cup off the counter. “Thanks.”
Striding out of The Daily Grind, Matthias was trying not to make it look like he was rushing. Okoye’s bakery, on the other side of Excelsior Plaza, had developed a reputation as the best bakery on Bastion Station. Nia Okoye was a former Starfleet captain who’d retired ten years ago and opened her bakery soon after.
He spotted Taren the moment he stepped inside the bakery. Trying to play it cool, Matthias acknowledged him with a smile and a nod before stepping over to the counter.
“Let me guess. You woke up this morning and decided to be adventurous, so you’ve decided to try my jumja drizzle cake?” Okoye asked with a mischievous glint in her eye.
Matthias’ lips pulled into a genuine smile. “Maybe next time.”
“You’re a creature of habit, Matthias Bentley,” Okoye said with a shake of her head.
There was no denying that. “It’s quieter in here than I was expecting.”
He casually looked around to find Taren watching him, with a half-eaten pastry on the plate in front of him. Whatever Okoye’s reply was, Matthias didn’t hear a word of it. It was only the sound of Okoye loudly clearing her throat that pulled his attention away from Taren.
“Why don’t you take a seat?” Okoye said with a knowing smile. “I’ll bring your usual over.”
Matthias crossed to where Taren was sitting. “Mind if I join you?”
“Not at all.” A smile played on Taren’s lips.
As he slipped into the seat opposite, Matthias’ mouth felt dry. He realised he’d left his cup of green tea on the counter. Okoye, thankfully, came to his rescue and delivered it to him along with his muffin.
“Figured you might need this,” Okoye said with a wink.
Choking out a thanks, Matthias lifted the cup to his lips and took a long sip.
“Everything alright, Starfleet?” Taren asked, his brows knitted together.
Matthias nodded. “I…I was hoping to catch you.”
“Well, you caught me,” Taren said with an easy smile. “What’s up?”
With Taren’s intense green eyes fixed on him, Matthias was suddenly unsure of his position. That earlier doubt had continued to chip away at his confidence.
“How’ve you been?” Matthias asked as panic slowly engulfed him.
Taren raised an eyebrow. With an amused tone, he asked, “That’s what you were hoping to catch me for? To ask how I’ve been since you last saw me two days ago?”
“Yes,” Matthias replied instinctively before letting out a heavy sigh. “No.”
The smile on Taren’s lips faltered. “I’m confused.”
“I like you,” Matthias blurted out, surprising himself so much that his eyes widened. “Sorry. I’m usually better at this kinda thing.”
Silence followed Matthias’ confession, and the fear that he’d misread the situation threatened to overwhelm him. He’d commanded starships in combat, but finding out his feelings weren’t reciprocated threatened to undo him.
“I’m sorry,” Matthias looked down at the table, unable to continue meeting Taren’s gaze. “I read this so wrong.”
Before he could stand, Taren leaned forward and placed a hand on Matthias’ wrist. “You didn’t.”
Matthias released a breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding. Forcing himself to look up at Taren again, Matthias could see warmth and concern written on his features.
“I didn’t?” Matthias asked softly.
Taren shook his head. “I just wasn’t sure if you were ready to take that step.”
“Here’s the thing,” Matthias said hesitantly. “I’m not sure that I am. Not yet.”
“Because of Tom,” Taren said gently, in a tone that made it sound more like a statement than a question.
Hearing Tom’s name coming from Taren’s mouth sounded odd, but there was no stabbing pain in his chest.
“Yeah,” Matthias confirmed.
A smile pulled at Taren’s lips. “That’s okay. But there’s nothing to stop us from being friends, though, right?”
Matthias shook his head. “No.”
“No, nothing is stopping us? Or no, we can’t be friends?”
A light chuckle escaped from Matthias. “No, nothing’s stopping us from being friends.”
“Good,” Taren said with a smile. “In that case, I host a weekly poker game for a few friends on Saturdays. Why don’t you join us?”
Getting to know Taren in the company of others sounded like a good idea, a safe one. It would also give him a chance to potentially widen his circle of friends. In the months he’d been on Bastion Station, he’d met plenty of new people but had become something of a recluse.
“I’d like that.”
“Did I hear right?” Okoye asked, approaching their table. “Not that I was eavesdropping, you understand?”
Taren smirked. “Perish the thought, Nia.”
“Have you lured in another victim?”
Matthias looked from Okoye to Taren. “Victim?”
“Nia’s one of the friends I host,” Taren explained. “She’s just sore because I keep cleaning up.”
Okoye rolled her eyes. “See what I have to deal with?”
“I wouldn’t worry about it, Nia,” Matthias told her. “I have a feeling Taren’s winning streak’s about to come to an end.”
That caused Taren to cock an eyebrow “That’s some tough talk, Starfleet. I hope you can back it up.”
“You’ll find out soon enough,” Matthias smirked. He looked at Nia. “Can I get this muffin to go?”
“Sure thing,” Okoye lifted the plate with the muffin and took it off to box it up.
Matthias returned his attention to Taren. “Make sure you send me the details of the game.”
“I will,” Taren promised. “I’m glad we had this talk.”
It had gone better than Matthias had hoped. “Me too. Thanks for understanding.”
“I’ll see you later, Starfleet.”
Okoye returned with a small royal blue cardboard box containing the muffin. “Here you go. Don’t let it go stale.”
“You have my word,” Matthias accepted the box. “I’ll see you both on Saturday.”
“I look forward to it.” Taren’s green eyes watched him intently.
For the first time in weeks, Matthias didn’t feel weighed down in the same way he had been. He was finally beginning to believe he had a future to look forward to, rather than just locking himself away and reliving the past. It was only a start, and he had a long way to go, but it felt like a good start.
