The dreaded appointment with the psychiatrist had arrived. 2 days after his bump-in with Cadet Solari, Yajat got the notification that his psychiatrist appointment had been booked for 20th January 2402. All of a sudden, the nightmares ferociously returned. Even his quantum cybernetic heart began malfunctioning on a regular basis – it was only a matter of time before every single cadet knew about his little secret. As he sat on his bed 5 minutes before the appointment was due to be scheduled, Yajat was just doing some deep breathing.
Let’s hope this has a happy ending for me and those nightmares don’t end up becoming true.
Yajat then walked to Sickbay, not knowing what the appointment held in store for him…
—-
The psychiatrist, a man in his mid-40’s with greyish hair, motioned for Yajat to sit.
“So, Counselor Jinean has told me about your… appointment. She has recommended you to get removed from the Academy on medical grounds.”, Doctor Antonov said in a gruff tone with an Armenian accent.
“That would be correct.”, Yajat said.
“Hmm.”, Antonov mumbled to himself.
“Let’s begin, then, shall we?.”, he said.
—-
The appointment lasted over 3 hours, during which Dr. Antonov ran various tests related to the brain, mental health and psyche. Yajat’s quantum cybernetic heart did malfunction 2 times throughout the appointment, but luckily, on both occasions, he had the quantum chip unjamming tool.
“Alright, I’ll be sending my formal assessment, alongside evidence and my final conclusions, to the Academy Medical Centre. You’ll find out in a few hours what I’ve decided.”, Dr. Antonov said.
Yajat stood up, nodded and shook his hand.
Before he left, Antonov remarked: “You know, that heart of yours was very meticulously designed. Who made that?”
Yajat stopped at the doorway, his hands behind his back in a clasp as was always the case, and turned around.
“I made it myself, Doctor. I submitted the blueprints to both Starfleet Medical and Starfleet Academy pre-entry.”, Yajat responded.
“Fascinating.”, Antonov said, a glint of excitement running through his voice and eyes.
Yajat then turned around and walked back to his quarters. Once inside, he just did part of his usual calendar for a few hours until, just after dinner, the dreaded notification sound from his personal viewscreen monitor came.
He did some more deep breathing to steel himself for the medical report. Then, he walked over to the monitor and activated it before looking at the report. He looked carefully at all the tests, analysing every piece of data, before looking at the verbal assessment, thinking of every possible connotations of every word that had multiple definitions and meanings, and just sat back in his chair.
This is not looking good. At all., he thought to himself.
Then, he read the conclusion and final decision, which stated the following:
“Although I believe that Cadet Shamji has definitely been affected a lot by his past, especially the ‘Bergvall incident’ (as he calls it), his family’s subsequent treatment of him, the legal case surrounding that and the fact the world was commenting on that for at least 7 months, I believe that his near-sociopathic tendencies and anti-social habits are still not justified. Hence, my professional opinion is that he is to be removed from Starfleet Academy, effective immediately. However, I will concede that no-one has ever recommended him any emotional support mechanisms at all, which is quite damned for such a bright mind who constructed the very thing that saved his life, in my personal opinion.”
“Mr. Shamji is to pack up all of his belongings and leave the Academy by the end of the week.”
Yajat just slowly slumped onto his chair and put his hands in a praying position before putting them towards his nose.
This… can’t be happening. This is some sick joke, right?…
But, this was very much real. The very institution that Yajat hoped would change him for the better has instead rejected him because of his past.
Just because I am a near-sociopath.
Yajat then began silently sobbing, each sob wracking his body much more than the last. This was it for him. No matter how hard he tried, he could no longer suppress his emotions at all whatsoever. He was vulnerable now, more than ever, and he had to admit it – his nightmares were becoming true…
—-
(1 week later…)
Yajat had packed up the last of his belongings, which were all now crated up and hauled away by Starfleet officers. As he stood in what was once his cadet quarters, even if it was for only a few weeks, he thought:
Why is it that my mental state, past, tendencies and habits always force me to be shunned everywhere I go at all angles? Why can’t I just be normal? Why can’t I heal?!
He then slowly walked away from the quarters and took off his Starfleet cadet attire for the last time before handing it over to a senior Starfleet Academy Officer.
SAO: “Good luck with your next ventures, Mr. Shamji.”
Yajat nodded before changing into civilian attire and leaving the Mellstoxx III Academy campus. He stoppped at the doorway and shed a tear before finally stepping outside the campus building. And as he made his way to his pre-booked civilian quarters on Starbase 4, his final thoughts were:
Why? Why does it always come to this?…