“I know how you feel.” Ensign Alayna Bertrand looked up to see and hear Ensign Lita Morrison with her tray, “This seat open?” Alayna nodded and shifted her tray to make room for the science department head. Morrison shifted the food around before asking, “This your first assignment?”

Bertrand told her a brief history of her studies and how she had ended up on the Zephyr. “I’m still not sure I belong.” She watched Lita’s eyes stare at the tray and then gently met her gaze.

“Been there. Sometimes I am there.” She shared the story of her rise to department head and her absolute fear of Captain Pantuso’s presence. “She wasn’t mean about it…but you knew you were being held to a standard.”

Alayna felt an additional layer being uncovered and asked, “Do you miss her?”

Lita’s face was conflicted. “I don’t know. I mean, yes. She drove me always to be prepared for whatever she would ask me. I learned a lot when she sat in the center chair.” The conflict on her face spread to her voice, “But…I don’t know if I would have been able to keep up with her.”

Bertrand felt a nervous smile on her lips, “I feel that way with Captain Bradley. It’s been a whirlwind. My practicum was challenging…but it never felt fully real.” She sighed, unsure how to feel, “This feels all too real.” Her face flushed, her nervousness clouding her head, “Is that too much to admit?”

Lita’s smile was genuine and warm. “It’s that transition from Cadet to Ensign. Frontier Day pushed us to grow up fast in our rank pips.” She took a few bites of her steak, “It’s not normal to have ensigns as department heads. It still feels…odd to me.”

Alayna returned the smile. Connections had always been complicated for her. She didn’t want to mess this up. “I haven’t even started looking at my staff.” She groaned, “It sounds pretentious when I hear myself say it.” She felt the nervous energy starting again, “How did you manage to get your feet under you?” While she waited for Lita’s response, she went to work on her chicken casserole. Barely time for breakfast had left her hungry after extended duty on the bridge.

Lita took her time, swirling the mashed potatoes around in her bowl. “I spent extra time studying interpersonal communications. I laughed at first, but I was in charge of people. I’m not the warmest person in the universe…so I had to learn how to work with people. I spent time working in my department and getting to know my team. Some of them didn’t like me much. They got their transfers. With this ship…I’ve got a bigger group. The ones that came along are helping to sort out the newer members.” She finished the mashed potatoes, “I’m always working on learning and figuring out what I’m doing well or not doing well. The XO on the Dragonfly helped me.” She downed her drink, “I haven’t had a chance to meet our XO. Helps that he’s a scientist.”

Alayna nodded along, taking mental notes as the woman spoke. She hadn’t thought about most of what Morrison was sharing. “There’s a lot more to being a department head than I’d imagined…and I can imagine a lot.” She sat back, feeling the exhaustion of the shift. “I still have a lot to learn.” The admission felt good, but her guilt still reared its ugly head. She hadn’t done enough to be ready. She hadn’t thought much about where she would end up or what she would be doing.

“We all do. Can I call you Alayna?” She explained, “I haven’t made many…friends with this group. We’re a hodgepodge of former ships.”

Alayna felt warmth spreading in her heart. “As long as I can call you Lita.” A nod was her answer. “I figure we’ll be working together anyway – two sciences.” She filled her words with a nervous smile, “Making friends hasn’t been easy. I understand that reference.”

Lita held up her empty glass, “To friendship and science!” Her smile gave Alayna reason to smile as she clinked her glass in response. For the first time in a while, she felt a connection.

She hoped it would last.