“Shit.  Shit.  Oh shit.”  Cadet Lita Morrison had escaped to her quarters and was pacing her bedroom.  She was going to be presenting to the captain within the hour.  Captain Wren Walton.  Morrison had done her homework in selecting the Dragonfly for her cadet practicum assignment.  Walton had blazed a unique trail to command, which had set her apart from others in the pool that Lita had been evaluating.  The XO had been another reason – Commander Park’s record as one of imperfection – something she identified with.  She sat down on her bed, putting her head in her hands, “Oh, why did you have to go and come up with something brilliant, Lita?  What if you’re wrong?  The group isn’t going to let you live it down.”  Making friends hadn’t been her strong suit with her sarcastic wit that wandered close to the bone.  She had to pull herself together. Thasaz had instructed her to trade for a fresh uniform and meet her on the bridge.  That had been fifteen minutes ago.  

She growled at her indecision, snagging a fresh uniform, and headed into the sonic shower.  Morrison continued to mutter to herself encouragement and stared into the mirror once her shower was finished.  Her eyes searched the face in front of her, wondering how much of a lie her journey had been.  Fleeing a controlling family and a derelict brother had been the easy part.  Finding a place to land hadn’t.  “You have to do this, Lita,” she told herself.  A minute later, her fresh uniform was on, and she stood near the entrance from the shared living room to the corridor.  She was in the process of talking herself into getting through the door when it chimed, startling her.  Morrison stepped back, “Enter?” The door flew open, and she gasped at the sight of the XO, Commander Park.  “I…come in, commander.”  She stepped aside and watched as Park walked in, hands tightly grasped behind her back.

“Commander Thasaz sent me to check on you – you’re a little late to the bridge, Cadet.”  She inspected the room as she walked. The dossier for Morrison read like a traditional cadet trying to find their way in their later classes.  She spun slowly on her heels and asked, “You seem nervous, Cadet Morrison.”

“I..um…I’m…yea.”  She tried again, “Commander, I’m not very good at this kind of stuff.”   Park gave her a thousand-yard stare in response.  Morrison swallowed hard and pushed forward. “I applied to the Dragonfly because of you and Captain Walton.  My family was a mess, and I needed to find somewhere to belong…or, if you want the corny version – somewhere to call home, at least for a little bit.”  She stopped herself there, prepared for Park to dress her down.

The XO took a few steps towards her, hands still clasped behind her back. She leaned forward, “My parents gave me a choice—reform school or Starfleet.  I’ve read your dossier, Cadet.”

Morrison blurted out, “It’s pretty screwed up, isn’t it?  Story of my…ugh.”  She sighed and clamped her hand over her mouth.

Park chuckled dryly, “Thasaz told me you had a sarcastic tongue in that mouth of yours.”  She brought her hands forward and slipped a PADD out of her belt, “As for being screwed up, welcome to the Dragonfly, cadet.  Every one of us has something about our past we’d like to forget, and some of us are still struggling with it in our present.  Despite what some seem to believe, Starfleet and the Federation aren’t about being perfect.”

Lita’s mind finally connected with the XO’s earlier confession, “Wait…your parents gave you the choice of reform school or this?”

“I was not a good kid or good at being a functional young adult in their house.  I got fired from enough jobs, and they stopped shopping in the neighborhood.”  She stared into the distance, regret coating her words, “We are sometimes the worst versions of ourselves in how we treat those around us.”

“Did Starfleet help?”  These details had been obviously left out of the dossier, but it was helping her understand the commander more.  She was more complex than Lita had initially thought.

The XO scoffed, “It should have.  It took longer than most…bounced around, warned…, and I ended up with Captain Walton.  It was working with her…or find myself in remedial training and a future of desk work away from a starship.”  She blinked away a surprising rise of emotion.  “That was a hard conversation.”

The cadet asked her first question differently, “Did she help?”

“She has.  I’ve learned more from her in the last six months than I ever did from anyone else.  I’ve learned that sometimes it’s about who the teacher is more than anything.”  She looked around the living room Morrison shared with others, “You all should work on decorating this place a little, make it feel like a home.”

Lita nodded quietly, letting the moment hold before she asked, “I…it may seem impertinent to ask, but Commander Park…I’m wondering if I could…avail of your mentorship…or teaching?” 

Park considered her request.  They shared a similar history; she could identify with the young cadet’s struggles and feelings.  She knew what Walton would tell her if she asked her about the request.  There might be some gentle yelling if she didn’t accept the cadet’s ask.  “I’ll accept, with some conditions to be determined later in discussion with your chief and the captain. First – let’s get to the bridge.  Your chief and my captain are probably wondering where we are.”