—USS Rome—

The USS Rome dropped out of warp in the Tellun system. T.j stood behind the tactical station looking out around the bridge. Captain Shadix stood and looked around at the crew before speaking.

He took in a deep breath. “All hands stay aware we have reports of a raid by the House of Mo’kai, ensign Ka’tel set course for the planet Elas” his voice was stoic and his body language was tight. T.j watched as the planet slowly came into view.

“Lieutenant Rivers scan the planet,” Captain Shadix ordered as he stood there on the bridge surveying the situation before him.

T.j’s fingers flowed across the console. “Sir we are detecting signs of disrupter fire,” he said stoically.

“Shields up yellow alert. Ensign Risito hail the planet,” the captain ordered after hearing what T.j had stated.

Ensign Risito responded, “No response sir.”

“Commander Keene, prepare an away team,” the captain said as he looked at his executive officer.

The Commander stood and headed for the turbo lift. The two looked calm and collected. Keene was tall with long brown hair, and she was slim but even with her back turned she demanded respect.

“Lieutenant keep an eye out and let me know at the slightest sign of trouble,” Shadix said in a calming tone.

“Yes,” T.j confirmed, he could feel himself sweating but he tried to remain focused on the work before him.

There was a tense feeling in the air as the away team beamed to the planet. Right as they felt they could take a breath a ship decloaked in front of them on the viewscreen.

“Captain Klingon warbird just appeared,” T.j stated as he looked up from his console at the viewscreen to confirm what he had seen on the console.

“On-screen.” Replied the captain.

“Sir we are being hailed,” said ensign Risito.

“On-screen” replied Shadix as he looked at the screen and took his chair his eyes were focused.

A Klingon appeared on the screen he had dark skin and long white hair.

“This is Captain Shadix of the United Federation of Planets,” the captain stated boldly as he looked at the Klingon before continuing, “Why are you in federation space?”

“I am Marvok captain of the ship Nej’pu of the house of Mo’kia leave now or be destroyed,” the Klingon Captain stated in a deep guttural tone.

Before the captain could reply the signal was cut. “Tactical stand by for my orders,” Shadix said, “contact the away team and prepare for emergency transport,” he ordered, “You all know what to do you have trained for this,” relaxing back into the chair and let a deep breath.

T.j felt confident he knew what to do and in a 1on1 the bird of prey didn’t stand a chance against the USS Rome, an Elysion class starship.

On command, T.j dropped the shields of the ship and then raised them again once the away team was aboard. All of a sudden his confidence failed and he felt fear, real disturbing fear. “Sir three more ships decloaking, and one of them is a battleship. Sir, they have opened fire,” he said trying to keep his voice calm.

“Evasive patterns, fire at will,” said the captain as seconds later the ship shook and trembled.

T.j let his fingers move and the ship responded. He let out a volley of torpedos and a phaser blast. The ship shook again and he returned fire. It was a quick exchange before the first ship exploded.

“Sir shields down to 60%,” came a response from tactical, behind the captain.

“Rivers this is your job,” he informed T.j as he tapped on the console that was on the armrest of his command chair, “Engineering we need more power to the shields,” he informed his Chief Engineer, “T.j, get us a way to fall back,” he stated as he closed the intercom to engineering.

T.j let his hands do their job as he tried to anticipate the next moves. The ship shook again; this time there was a loud bang as the lights dimmed, and crew members, including T.j, were tossed from where they stood and/or sat. The ship lurched as consoles sparked and exploded.

T.j slowly made his way back to his feet, his head was aching and he felt the soft drip of liquid down his face. He looked at the captain as he made his way back to the station.

‘We’re in bad shape sir” no sooner had the word’s left his mouth when a mother of all explosion happened on the bridge than the ceiling groaned the gave out; a support beam came down taking out part of the tactical console and cutting T.J’s hand.

“Abandon ship, transfer all controls to my chair,” said Shadix as he stood up off the floor his head cut his face battered and his body screaming in pain a dark stain on his uniform. Shadix staggered towards his chair.

“Sir you need to go. I’ll try and buy you some time” said T.j.

“No Lieutenant, go to an escape pod” the captain ordered weakly his voice was ragged.

“Sir the crew need’s you. You inspire them and at this moment hope is what we need most” T.j’s voice was soft as he spoke, yet seeded with doubt.

The ship shook again as the Captian nodded and a crew member helped him away. T.j. took the seat. He’d fight as long as he could then he would make the last escape pod. He watched as the pods started leaving as he tried to maneuver the ship but at this point, it was more like a flopping fish.

T.j locked on to the closet ship and let loose with everything he had. As the screen erupted in bright light as the enemy ship exploded before him on the viewscreen. Then the ship shook and the light went out. He felt the ship starting to drift. This was it, the end of the USS Rome and maybe his life.

Standing he trying to keep his balance as he walked and stumbled his way to the only active and useable escape pod. The air was thick with smoke, as it filled the halls. He fell into the pod and rolled onto his back, he felt it detach from the ship as he coughed and gagged trying to breathe. Once he got his breathing under control he let out a deep breath and tried to sit up he was dizzy and his body ached.

Vibrations of another explosion were felt and looked at the pod’s display screen to see what was the source of the explosion; it was the ship, now in two pieces, drifting through space.

An alert chirped, and on the display was a Klingon. “Surrender or die”

He shook his head then spoke. “This is acting captain Rivers I’m lowing shields” he gasped and wheezed out.

Maybe this would buy the other’s time. All of a sudden he heard the sound of a transporter and turned to see in time the fist of the Klingon smashing into his face…

—Starbase 72—

T.j awoke from his sleep screaming he sat straight up in bed. He was pale and sweating profusely. His half of the bed was drenched in sweat. He gasped for breath as his wife sat up in bed next to him. He put his knees up and his elbows on his knees as his hands went to his now greying hair.

“Are you?” His wife’s soft voice came next to him as she put a hand on his back. “I thought you said these were getting better that’s 3 nights in a row now,” she stated in a concerned tone.

“They…they were,” he barely muttered.

He leaned into her and took a deep breath.

“You need to talk to someone again Thomas. This isn’t something you can battle alone.”

“I know, I’ll go see a counselor this afternoon” T.j replied looking into her light blue eyes.

“Ok now go get cleaned up, let’s go get something to eat,” his wife said as she slipped from their bed.

He nodded as he stood up and walked to the room’s bathroom. He looked into the mirror and took a deep breath but he didn’t see himself he saw the ghosts of the past. He ran a hand along the side of his head feeling the scars he got from the attack and his time in captivity. He shook his head and closed his eyes. “You need to hold it together you’re getting a ship one day and you need to be focused and mentally ready. It’s ok to talk to someone.” He told himself before getting ready for the day.

Startbase 72

Tj left the table where he had been dining and slowly made his to the counselor’s office. He wasn’t in a rush he was actually dreading going. While talking to people helped some he found a way to relieve the pain and anger of the past. It was a window into one’s soul and all the trouble that came with it. As he approached the door he stopped and pulled his tunic tight before taking a deep breath. Once he heard a voice from call enter he took one last deep breath and walked in. ‘You can do this he told himself.

He smiled at the counselor a young trill with short-cropped black hair. She smiled as he took a seat.

“Lieutenant commander River’s it has been a while since you last came to see me,” she said with a soft but scalding voice.

“It has but” he paused taking a deep breath and looking into her hazel eyes. “I’m not sleeping again,” he said his voice wavering.

“Nightmares or just not able to sleep?”

“I’m back on the ship I relive those last few minutes before the USS Rome is destroyed. I see the faces of those who never came home.”

“When did this start?’ She asked. She was pretty sure she already knew the answer

“The first came after the anniversary than a few days later after Captian Shadix passed” he sounded like a man on the verge of breaking.

“Were you close to him the captain? I know you served with him a few times”

“He was like a parent to me. I wouldn’t be who I am without him” he paused and looked around the room as if he thought someone else was in the room. “I remember being in a cell, my head bleeding and aching. My body is weak and my mind fading. I thought that was the end. I laid there and when I heard phaser’s and voices I thought that it was my head playing tricks on me that I was finally going to die cold surrounded by strangers and at the hand of the house of Mo’kia.” He said softly tears welling in his eyes.

She just looked at him and listened, sometimes people need to talk just to have someone listen. She placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I heard gaps as the door was opened, it wasn’t my friend’s but it was Starfleet. When I work I was. In a hospital unit, he came to see me a few times. We would talk and I was offered the chance to be his new executive officer but it fell through.” He said a tear rolling down his face.

“We stayed in touch and he helped guide me and to keep my spirits up. When I joined Starfleet intelligence it was his recommendation that got me the offer. He showed me what I meant to be a Starfleet officer.”

“He sounds like a great man and I can tell the impact he had on you. Did you have a chance to say goodbye?”

“No, I was here with my family getting ready for my future when I heard the news. It was my wife who told me, she had stayed in touch with the captain’s while and daughter.” He said softly.
“You can always say goodbye to people even if you aren’t at the funeral but in this case, I would suggest you just talk with him and make peace in your heart he may be gone but he will always be with you.”

He smiled albeit a sad one. “I guess you’re right, but how do you say goodbye to someone who shaped you?”

“The same way you would anyone else, it’s not easy but you can do it”

He nodded. “Thank you, lieutenant, “ he said as he stood up.

“I will be here if you anything Lieutenant commander.”

Tj walked out of the room and found himself walking around the station. He didn’t have a set place to go he just wondered about the station. He stopped and stared out of a window. “Hey captain, thank you for everything you have done for me. I am sorry I wasn’t able to say good by it hurts but I know you sometimes the end comes out of the dark.” He passed as another tear rolled down his face. “Be at peace I know I carry on your dream” he turned from the window and headed back to his room to see his family.

As he reached his room his ran a sleeve over his face clearing the tears away. He pulled his tunic tight then walked inside.

Starbase 72 promenade

T.J. walked the long corrodes of the Starbase headed to spend time with his family. You could say a lot of things about his time on the station but it had given him more time with his family. He entered the promenade and saw his wife Shelby sitting at a corner table her long blonde hair braided back and hanging off to the side. His son Emil sat across the table from her and their daughter sat on her lap. He let out a smile as slowly picked up a pace.

He smiled as he reached the table and the kids let out a shout of joy attracting the attention of some others. “Hello my love’s,” he said with a grin as he took a seat.

“How are you dear?” Asked Shelby with a smile

“I am good and you?” He replied placing a hand on the table.

“I’m good the kids have been good today, your son has been practicing his martial arts” she said with a slight laugh.

Jewels was in the promenade enjoying some time away from work. The hustle and bustle was different than what she expected. The academy had been busy but it was like organized chaos. This was more like an inferno of people. She stopped mid-step as she saw someone approach a table. It was like seeing a story come to life. She had seen pictures of the man on her father’s walls. He as like the son her father had never had.

‘Leave him be” she told herself but she couldn’t help it. She found herself walking closer running through all the things she wanted to say in her head. As she reached the table she saw him sitting with a woman in a uniform of a medical officer wearing the rank of commander, and 2 kids.

Everything she wanted to say left her he’d as she looked at the table.

T.J. noticed a young woman approach there and just stop. She looked familiar but it was hard for him to place a name on the face. “What can I do for you ensign?” He asked looking up at her trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

Jewels were taken aback in a way the man’s voice sounded gruff kind of fighting to his greying hair. He looked more normal than she expected. “Ye ye yes sir, you knew my father” she stammered out before looking to the woman and kids with him ‘Bad timing Jewels.’ She thought.

He looked at the young woman again taking in her face her blue eyes and familiar jawline. His eyes grew as he put a name to the face. “Julia Shaddix” he said more of a statement than a question.

“Yes sir You served under my father Emil”

He smiled softly with a hint of pain in his eyes. “Best years of my life. Have a seat Ensign” he replied

Shelby had been listening and her eyes softened and then landed on T.J. “We will see you later love” she said getting up and taking the kids with her.

T.J. smiled and nodded as he watched his wife walk away.

Jewels took a seat and looked at him. “He talked about you often, he use to tell us about the USS Rome and how you save him there,” she said her voice soaked in emotion.

“I didn’t save him I just did my duty, a crew needs its captain and he was that man. He gave us hope in the dark and guided us all in the right direction” he replied

“That sounds like him. I wanted to follow in his footsteps.” She paused and looked at the table. “When he died my mother blamed Starfleet, she blamed everything he’d been through said it sucked the life right out of him… I know I’m new and haven’t been in the fleet long but I think she wrong.”

“I wouldn’t say it sucked the life out of him. It takes a tool but it’s not what ends a life that is life itself. All things that have a start and an end.” He replied softly but with a hint of a smile. “He never seemed his age when I knew him. It was as if he could take on the world.”

She felt a tear slip out and smiled. “That’s how I remember him”

“What assignment did you get?” He asked

“I was assigned her pending a ship assignment”

“Sounds like me, waiting for my command. Any ship you eyeing?” He asked, he knew the name USS Rome had been reassigned but not to what class ship he had requested it but he wasn’t if that meant he would get it or if it was just hearing a request from one of many officers.

“Honestly any she would be nice. If I got my pick the New Orleans class USS Rome. I feel like it would be fitting. Starting my career on a ship that had the same name as my dad’s first command.”

“Ahhh so it’s a New Orleans class,” he said softly going over the specs in his head.

“You knew they were using the name again?” She asked raising an eyebrow.

“I asked for the command if they ever used the name again but we will see.” He said with a half-smile. “It felt like the right thing it would be a fitting first command “

“That would be,” she said with a soft smile. “Thank you for your time LTC but I have a shift I need to get to,” she said standing up from the table.

“Don’t be late for your shift” he said as she walked away. He smiled ‘that’s a career I need to keep an eye on he thought to himself as he settled back. Life was strange and now long after losing his mentor, he had a chance to repay that favor to his mentor’s daughter. He stood up and headed off to find his family.

(Starbase 72)

Kiran stepped off the shuttle his family in tow. He looked at his smiling wife and son who looked in awe. They had been excited by his orders to report for a new duty assignment. He was not near as excited, he enjoyed his assignment as an instructor for Starfleet academy. Teaching the next generation was his joy, sure it was a long tedious task at times but it was a needed job and one he did well.

He was being moved to be assigned back to a ship. “Come on this way let’s go find our temporary quarters.” He said taking his wife’s hand and moving them along. They paused as a few officers moved along in a group. He smiled remembering his days as a young officer. His son stood there staring at them.

“Darius you’re almost old enough in a couple of years you can join up,” said Ilaria with a soft voice and smile. She put an arm around him as they started moving again.

“I can’t wait, I’m going to be just like you guys, brave and smart.” Said Darius

“The academy won’t make you smart or brave. You need to be smart to get into the academy and as for bravery, I think that’s an overstatement. We do as we must not because we are brave but because that is our job” said Kiran leading the way.

He had been here a few times in his career and was familiar with the layout. He stopped at a small office and walked in by himself. There was a short young male officer in a red uniform sitting behind a desk.

“Afternoon commander,” said the man in a high-pitched squeaky voice.

“Ensign, I’m looking for my temporary quarter assignments”

“Name sir?”

“Commander stonewall” he replied getting annoyed he wasn’t a fan of change.

“Here you are sir,” the young man said handing him a padd with a smile.

“Thank you ensign,” he said before turning and walking out of the room. He walked back over his family as they made their way to their quarters.

(Stonewall Quarters)

They entered the quarters and Darius sat down at a table. Ilaria looked at stone Kiran and smiled. “These are nice,” she said with a smile.

“Not as nice as our last quarters,” said Kiran

“Kiran Stonewall…. I get you don’t like being reassigned but knock it off. This is the life we signed up for. Just because you are upset and miserable doesn’t mean you get to make the rest of suffer along with you” said Ilaria walking over to her with a hint of venom in her words.

He took a deep breath and looked into his wife’s eyes. “I’m not trying to make you miserable.”

“You’re not trying to but you are. We knew what we signed for. It’s not always fair or what we want to do but it’s what we have to do we are not in this for us.”
“I know but we were happy and safe. Darius was getting ready for the academy entrance exam.”

“I know but he will learn better and get a chance to see our life as it really is before he commits his life to it. You may also fall in love with the stars again. You can’t tell me you never missed it, the exploration and adventure.”

He took a deep breath “Your right. It’s what brought us together. It’s why I joined Starfleet. Adventure and exploration.”

“Then let’s look forward, you’re getting a new Assignment we get a new journey and a chance to watch our son be groomed.”

“True, now let’s just hope we don’t get a green Captian I think it’s time we put the baby sitting behind us and focus on the future.” He said with a chuckle.

Darius walked out of his room. “When do we leave the station?”

“I’m not sure yet, I haven’t officially been assigned to a ship yet”

“Does that mean I get a chance to explore the station?” Darius asked with a gleam in his eyes. The excitement he felt could be seen radiating off his whole body.

“Yes but stay out of the way, and only go where you are permitted,” said Ilaria.

Darius let out a shout of joy before running out of the room.

“I think you forgot to tell him to stay out of trouble,” said Kiran

“I’m sure you will get in more trouble than him” she replied with a grin before going to unpack their stuff.

In a dream, approximately 35 years ago

The runabout touched down in a small clearing at the base on the western side of a yet unnamed mountain range and Th’lora cut power to the engines. It was her fourth successful landing of the day as she and her colleagues of the USS Triton shuttled colonists and supplies from the transport ship to their new home of Veela III. Not the most glamorous job, but it beat filing reports or plotting flight plans. Before releasing the outer hatch locks, she made a half-witted remark to Lieutenant Whitby, her co-pilot about this landing in particular compared to the others, causing him to smile.

One by one, each passenger gathered their carry-on belongings and exited the runabout, including a man carrying a newborn child. Th’lora checked each name off a list on her PADD as they crossed the threshold onto the planet surface, finalizing their transfer and ensuring that everyone was accounted for.

Without warning, the ground beneath them began to tremble. Not so significant, that anyone lost their footing, but enough to be noticed. “Vehl to Porter, status report.” she called out after a quick flick of her combadge.

Porter was the scientist leading the survey team helping to locate the specific location for the permanent settlement of the colonists. “Tricorders are picking up increased levels of tectonic instability that had not been registered…”

Before Porter could finish her report, the ground began to shake again, much more violently than the last. If Th’lora had to guess, she would have estimated a magnitude of mid six to low seven on the Richter scale, though she was no seismologist. Large boulders could be heard, and seen in the short distance of the mountainside beginning their tumble to its base. It was not safe for her and the colonists to remain there, and while the runabout could have offered some shelter, if it were hit by a boulder large enough or the ground beneath became too unstable, its level of safety would be greatly diminished.

Th’lora took out her tricorder and scanned the vicinity. She picked up two cave entrances several hundred meters from their present location with multiple chambers large enough to hold a few hundred people combined. “Whitby!” she yelled out, “We need to get these people to safety. There are some caves due East. Watch for landslides and prepare for aftershocks!”

Activating her combadge a second time, she called out to her commanding officer, more as a report of her intentions rather than seeking advice, “Vehl to Jemieson. My team and I are heading for some caves in the mountains East of here. I suggest any personnel you’re with do the same. Vehl out.”

She didn’t wait on an acknowledgement, and proceeded to direct her group of colonists in the direction of the caves. The steep incline and the loose dirt and rock coming down the mountain made the trek difficult, but after a handful of minutes they found themselves at the first of the two entrances and began funneling in. Whitby led the group, conducting scans as he went while Th’lora rounded up from the rear to ensure that everyone made it inside.

They came to an opening about twenty meters in diameter with an adjoining path toward the South, presumably in the direction of the other cave entrance. Surveying the area it appeared that this location would suffice there were plenty of ledges or rocks that could be used as a place to sit and the opening was wide enough that if they needed to add a heat source, they could do so in the center of the room. The adjoining path traversed slightly lower in elevation from where they were to a similar but larger sized opening. While spacious, from her vantage point, the path did not appear safe to cross while the earth was in a state of shaking.

Crying could be heard from the newborn. Th’lora approached the man holding the child to see if she could offer any assistance, “My name is Th’lora. Is everything okay?”

“Matthew.” he said returning the greeting, “Yes ma’am. She’s just scared. The loud noise from the earthquake is just too much for her.” the man replied.

“Where is her mother?” Th’lora asked.

“My wife is with our eldest daughter on the colony ship. Our daughter had to have some spinal surgery before coming down to the planet. I’m sure you know how protective mothers can be. She’s worried, even though I told her there’s nothing to fear. It’s a routine procedure. So she suggested I come down to the planet with our youngest and start setting things up down here.”

“Well…I commend your bravery under the circumstances. If you need anything, let me know and I’ll do what I can to help.”

The man nodded, coddling his daughter as he attempted to calm her down. Th’lora continued circling around to each of the colonists, making sure no one was severely injured and needed medical attention.

“…Vehl…present location…200 meters.” a garbled but comprehensible enough transmission came through. It was Commander Jamieson. Magnetic interference from the rock must have been scrambling the comms. She was able to infer from what she’d heard that the commander was in the opening south of where she was. If she could call him from the adjoining path she could at least give him a status update.

When she turned around, Matthew and his daughter were nowhere to be seen. Fearing the worst, she ran to the pathway. About fifty meters ahead Mathew was slowly making his way to the other chamber at the coaxing of her commanding officer. “Matthew! Come back!” She yelled.

Matthew turned back around to look at Th’lora, then back at the man on the other side.

“Commander! That pathway is not safe! If another earthquake or aftershock happens, that rock face will give way.”

“All the more reason to get everyone into the same room. If it does collapse it’s best if we’re all in the same place. Let’s move everyone over here on the double.”

“No sir! I can’t do that. I will not jeopardize the safety of these people. Matthew! You need to come back before…”

Th’lora was immediately cut off by an aftershock that shook the mountain nearly as fierce as the initial quake. A large rock and other debris broke free from the ceiling and hurtled toward Matthew.

“Noooooooo!” she screamed.

———————

Th’lora vaulted upright in her bed. It was just a nightmare. The same nightmare she’d had for the last thirty-odd years since that incident. Like clockwork on it’s anniversary every time she reflected on the events of that day.

“Computer, begin letter.” she said after regaining some sense of composure.

The computer chirped, signaling that it was ready to begin recording.

“Hello Elizabeth. I’m composing this letter to you, hoping that I have the courage to actually send it when finished. It’s been so many years since the tragic accident that took the life of your husband and daughter. As the leader of the team that was in charge of your husband’s group at the time, not a minute goes by that I don’t blame myself for not doing more to prevent what happened. The extent of your loss cannot be put into words, and I hope that one day you’ll forgive me for what happened.

“I have not been to Veela III since that incident. I hope that you and your daughter are doing well. I keep telling myself to make a trip there or stop by in passing on one of my next missions. However, the fear of the animosity you must hold toward me and the rejection of my arrival has prevented me from doing so.

“In the event you would like to reach me instead, you can contact Starfleet and they can make sure any message is delivered to me.

“With sincerest regards, Captain Th’lora Vehl.”

“Computer. Save the letter but do not send it. If I do not send the letter after ninety days, delete it.”

“Acknowledged. Letter saved” the computer replied.

Sleep was often elusive for the stodgy older doctor. It’d been YEARS since he’d slept solidly through the night, except those rare occasions when he’d caught a virus or other sickness. Tonight, apparently, was no exception. He rolled over on his left side, where he could see his wife sleeping peacefully next to him-occasionally, her face would express some emotion as she dreamed-right now, she was smiling. Good. He knew that joining a starbase in the deep throws of the Universe was a CHANGE for the three of them, but he was happy to see that his girls, as he referred to his wife and young daughter, were adjusting swimmingly. Even Minnie, just six years old, seemed to be thriving-it helped that she’d found a few youngsters to play with. Minnie was much more like Lucy-outgoing, bubbly, and talkative. He was more reserved, serious, and cautious. The two adults balanced each other, though-he couldn’t say NO to Lucy’s suggestions of night out occasionally, and she relied on his serious nature when things got tough. Finally, the warm seduction of the whisky he’d downed quickly in an attempt to force his head to calm down kicked in, and he gave in, knowing the few hours of sleep he’d be afforded were necessary so that he could continue to help people. That’s all he strove to do-HELP. He’d seen enough of the universe to know that it needed more helpers and less…not helpers. Soon, it was dark, and he fell into that sweet, sweet slumber. He was back in the Betazoid colonies, on his hospital ship. His volunteer assignment from Medical school. There was a war; Romulan and Cardassian fighters attacking from all angles. They were promised they’d be safer on the hospital ship-“alls fair in love and war except the docs. They’re sacrosanct.” He had lost someone that day-the one that got away. He still felt the guilt of that-irrational, he knew, but he fixated on it as his first big mistake. A younger Roger cared about perfection, the stern voice of his father, Roger Sr., still echoing in his brain-“You’ll never make it as a DOCTOR. Be a teacher, like me.” You couldn’t help people as an educator. Well-not in the way he WANTED. He wasn’t cut out for teaching-he disliked children then (hence why he didn’t go into pediatrics), and he hated school himself-it was boring and redundant. Turns out, he was just not being taught to his learning style. Still, it took many years of counseling for him to lose that feeling of failure, and it’d take more years before he let go of the guilt. His colleague, a pretty girl called Annie, redhead and from a planet he wasn’t familiar with, but humanoid in appearance, recognized the sorrow and tiredness behind his brown eyes-hers reflected the same. Trying to save people was HARD work, and thankless, and often-futile-in times of war. So when she suggested a cup of coffee and a chat, to break up the monotony of the evening-for all he’d do is go back to his quarters and mope-he was keen to agree. He removed his white jacket-now needing laundering, but he’d do that the next day-his day off-and got his personal items. He carried some identification always, and a pen, as habit, as well as a “lucky” coin that his late Nan, the best person to ever have graced Earth, had given him when he was five years old. Finally, he gave in to the exhaustion, and left the med bay. He followed Annie to a quiet alcove. He recognized it as one of the lounges between officer’s quarters. It was quiet, a little dark, just perfect for relaxing and prepping for sleep. In case he ever got any after this.  He replicated a cup of coffee-dark, and hot-and settled in across from Annie. He listened as she talked-mostly about her life on her planet, and how it compared to his as a non-military Starfleet volunteer. It was different-they had a more advanced civilization to his-a LOT of the other humanoids did, though. He tuned out most of her voice; not because he didn’t care but because of the sheer exhaustion. He needed a [b]BREAK[/b].After several moments of silence, he stood up. “I should be getting on.” The woman looked at him, and he realized, suddenly, she’d been flirting and he’d missed the signals. [I]Of course he had.[/I] She nodded, sadly, and he had another realization. OH. He cleared his throat, and felt himself blush. “Do you want to…come with me?” He offered. Eyes closed, his head telling him how awkward and silly he was, he waited for her response. It came in the form of a gentle kiss on his lips and, suddenly, his head buzzed and the birds in his stomach clicked their tricky melody. [I]My room is closer.[/I] He let himself be pulled along; she was right, it was close by, and again-he was so dumb-that’s why she’d chosen this spot. They found her room-a single suite, befitting a higher ranking officer, and she pulled him inside. He let her take the lead-inexperienced, frightened, and overwhelmed was he. Just as things got to a headway-*BEEP* BEEP BEEP went the alarm, and his brown eyes popped open. He was back at Bravo, in his bed next to his wife, and nearby, their daughter lay, sleeping. With a groan, he sat up, and spoke lightly to Lucy. “That’s me. Off to save more lives I go.” His dreams had all been flashbacks lately. To the war. Maybe he needed to fix the fixer. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he stepped out of bed to start his day. His brain was already going 2000 miles a minute, and he knew. PTSD. He was going to need some help before he could help others.