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Part of Starbase Bravo: Q2 2400

Operation: Cigar

Starbase Bravo
March 2401
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The USS Evenus, a Raven Class Frigate under the command of Midshipman Rachelle Vincent was flying around on some random undisclosed mission when suddenly, a Borg cube appears on a direct course for earth.

Clearly they hadn’t learned their lesson the first dozen or so times they tried this stunt, so Rachelle puts on her mirrored shades, lights a cigar and orders a intercept course.

“Computer, access the Musical Database and play AC/DC- “Thunderstruck”. Broadcast shipwide.”

Upon coming into visual range with the Cube, Captain Vincent orders hailing frequencies open.

“This is Captain Rachelle Vincent of the Federation Starship Evenus.”“You have crossed into Federation territory.”

“If you mechanical bastards value your lives, you will turn around or face the consequences”

“WE ARE THE BORG. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILAT-”

“Yeah, yeah, resistance is futile, we’ve heard the speech before.”

“So, are we going to do this the easy way or are we going to do this the hard way?”

A Tractor beam impacts the shields of The Evenus, Jarring the ship before the inertial dampers compensate.

“Hard way it is.” “Tactical. Lock phasers and photon torpedoes to take down that Tractor Beam.”

“Aye Captain”, the Tactical Officer replies.

2 photon torpedoes rocket towards their target, hitting their mark and the tractor beam drops.

“Helm, attack pattern Sisko 2!” “Tactical, fire at will. Keep the frequencies rotating, don’t let them adapt.”

The Evenus rockets to extremely close range with the Borg Cube, phasers and torpedoes blasting all the way.

One space battle later, the Borg Cube is a burning, disabled wreck.

Scan the Cube. This is the perfect opportunity to gain intelligence about the Borg and their technology.”

“Captain, according to our readings, the Transwarp coil is still intact”, the science officer reported.

Excellent. Prepare a boarding party, I will extract the coil personally and present it to the Bravo Fleet CO in time for tea and medals.”

One boarding action later-

The Borg cube explodes in a firey inferno as the Evenus dramatically flies away.

“Helmsman, set a course for Starbase Bravo.” “Maximum warp, Engage!”

“Aye, Captain!”

Upon arriving at Starbase Bravo with the Transwarp coil in hand, Bravo fleet CO immediately offers Midshipman Vincent a promotion directly to Fleet Admiral and his job as Bravo Fleet CO, his office, his home and his wife. And the Commander of Task Force 47 Has not stopped kowtowing to her since she arrived.

Vincent respectfully turns down the promotion to Fleet Admiral along with the CO’s other offers but accepts a promotion to Captain.

It’s at this point where Rachelle finally wakes up from her fever dream, having been sick with the Tarkalian Flu and sleeping for 16 hours straight.

 

Comments

  • Ok, this is just fun to read. There's parody in the mix and a healthy dose of this guy's dreams being all kinds of fantastical - I loved it as it got more and more absurd as I read until we reached the end, and I cackled at the ending scene. Good work!

    May 11, 2023