“Khool H’jock pan Duumavaar! Ough! Wey! Kahless Ch’jan!”

Maine’s tinny voice echoed around the small cave where he had set up camp a week ago as he paused to allow a suitable ovation from his audience. Rapturous applause chased him around the stone caves, shadows of adoring fans cast against a slimy grey opera house by a now not so small fire he had fashioned from some local timber and what was left of a phaser charge. Each of his horned adoring fans celebrated him with their small chubby arms as critical spectres were banished by fickle orange wisps. His rendition of Doomar’s lesser known 12th tribute to Kahless’ mighty shoulders now complete, Maine took a seat at the fire side, accepting a few personal compliments from some extremely committed fans and feigning a humble plea for privacy he was eventually left alone. Taking a swig from the canteen, whose contents have long been replaced with a mix of collected river water and particularly delicious local berry which produced a tasty and relaxing juice, he turned to the room.

“It’s the consonants that really take the effort in the throat. Klingon’s have a lot of extra muscle around the oesophagus to give that extra…” He paused, motioning in the air in an effort to pick the best noun. “Oomph.” He concluded. “Of course, Doomar’s use of the more rural pronunciation that really sets him apart from his contemporaries, who felt at the time that Opera should reflect only the high houses…” He paused again, the sound of movement cutting through the air and interrupting his train of thought. He looked out toward the small cave mouth, the silence now filled by the gentle running of the nearby water stream that had, in addition to the natural formation of the cave, given Maine reason to take refuge here. 

Taking a small branch in hand, he held it like a spear, tipped with a small purple crystal he held it close to his chest, ready to strike. The inert dilithium crystals were brittle and easily broken but here amongst damp cave walls and with the threat of native fauna it was about as useful as they would ever be. Delicately he stepped closer to the cave mouth, the blinding moonlight occluding his vision for a moment, then he saw his earlier efforts had been successful. A small rodent had been drawn into his trap, fashioned from a particularly springy bush, a scrap of his ever shrinking uniform and the remnants of 2 large packs of black-eyed peas he had found in his-not-his case. Unable to bring himself to consume the frogspawn like packs of peas, which when boiled gave him uncomfortable flashbacks to childhood mistakes, he had turned to hunting the local fauna. It had taken some time but eventually he had found a small rodent that when roasted and eaten with a paste made from berries and a particularly large leaf with a minty tang was worthy of Le Cordon Bleu. 

He was sucking the last of his dinner from the bone, confident that Doomar would approve of such a dinner accompaniment to his classic opera, when a voice echoed through the cave.

“Maine?” 

He span 180 degrees, grabbing the spear from where he had laid it up. 

“Maine, are you okay? Can you hear me?” the female voice echoed again. He felt his ears twist and twitch attempting to locate the source of the sound as his eyes struggled against the dancing shadows of the fire. Settling on the small white plush toy that sat opposite him at the fireside the voice spoke again. “Maine, you weren’t at the rendezvous point.”

“Because I got lost”.” He quietly spoke, was the Mugato talking? His brain cycled quickly through the possibilities, after a few seconds he settled on the most clear and obvious one. Clearly the small plush Mugato had been hiding his intelligence from Maine, waiting for the perfect opportunity to overpower him and eat him. 

“No doubt that was your plan?” He muttered, his grip on the spear tightening. 

“I think you got the wrong box, Ensign Greeb has barely been able to sleep without his stuffed mugato.”

“You won’t get me.” Maine insisted, there was no way this creature was going to outsmart him, it’s brains were after all literally fluff. Yet still he was concerned that whilst he was clearly fatigued and struggling his foe barely had a scratch on it. 

“You’re right. The cave’s mineral deposits are interfering with the targeting scanners. Give me a second to try something.” 

“You don’t have a second fiend!” Maine shouted, attempting to channel the passion he had drawn upon a few hours earlier performing Doomar.

“Are you in danger Maine?” The voice sounded genuinely concerned.

“A Starfleet officer doesn’t fear danger!” he shouted as he leapt forward his makeshift spear lurching ahead of him. Making contact with his enemy Maine swung the spear sideways attempting to throw the fierce beast against the wall. A cacophony of tearing fabric and smashing stone filled the cave as the plush was grievously wounded across his stomach but in the process the brittle dilithium blade slipped from the spear and smashed into the wall. 

“Maine if you can hear me I’m going to try and lock onto your combadge.” 

Turning to face his foe before it could strike again he noticed a small silver object catch the firelight. A silver arrow upon a golden background that glinted on the mugato’s chest. The sign of Starfleet, and an officer. Clearly the mugato was attempting to infiltrate Starfleet under the guise of this young Ensign’s identity. A dastardly plan, probably Cardassian. Maine could feel the sweat running down his neck as he looked to the end of his now pointless spear. Throwing it to the ground he clenched his fists and summoned all his strength. 

“Not Today! For Starfleeeeeeeeeeeeeet!” He screamed as he leapt forward, arms outstretched; the evil spy, hell-bent on destroying his precious federation in the name of anarchy would not succeed today. As he wrestled, gripped in a life or death struggle with his most dangerous of foes he felt a strange and yet not unfamiliar sensation, a tingle as his eyes were blinded by a blue light, his body weightless for a moment and as the sight of the cave was replaced with a sea of light he could swear he saw that mugato smile.