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Part of Endeavour: Through The Thick & Thin

A Stilled Flame

Shuttlepod 2, On Approach to NX-06 Endeavour
March 21st, 2157
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It is often said as an axiom across many cultures and societies: The Needs of the Many, Outweigh the Needs of the Few…or the One. Indeed, the willingness to sacrifice the good of the one for the good of the many, is the foundation of almost every sapient social structure with very few extreme exceptions.

It is with this calculus in my mind, that I understand and comprehend the reactivation orders for Patient 1123-Null, Saorise Hess-Caidin, to return to active duty in her people’s military service…for they are hard pressed for experienced and trained officers and facing a foe that has backed them into an increasingly smaller region of space, a foe that has troubled my own people as well of late.

I understand these orders, but I cannot agree with them. Few decisions born of such desperation can have a desirable outcome.

Since coming to live amongst Humanity on Earth, as part of an exchange program for practioners of medicine, it has been my work to observe and learn about this society’s medical practices, techniques, and technology…and though often crude, antiquated, or unsophisticated, they are by and large a competent and surprisingly rational group of fellows.

Upon receiving these orders, many of my colleagues whom have worked on the 1123-N Case, have lost this sense of rationality and instead have been given to several incidences of emotional outbursts and increasingly louder voices of dissent.

For the effectiveness of such outbursts, I shall defer to their more expert opinion in such matters and simply refer the review of the other notations attached to this file, copied with the original “colourful metaphors” and profane idioms used by their respective authors, intact for posterity.

Instead, I shall inform you of the progress that I have contributed to so far with this patient.

Originally, I was requested by Division 14 to be a consultant on non-human technology at the heart of the 1123-Null puzzle, my past experience in the Medical Exchange upon other worlds and cultures being as close to an approximation to an expert on such things that was available…my responsibilities since then, however, have evolved…specifically in trying to adapt Vulcan mental discipline and theraputic techniques to the Human psyche. Some implants could neither be removed nor deactivated…the more problematic of these were also ones that were not within the bounds of conscious control of 1123, and instead responded to either outside stimuli triggers or internal mechanics of biology, such autonomous response.

It was these pieces of technology that became the focus of my time with 1123, who I began to instruct in the adapted techniques…at first, I believe she agreed to such strictures if only for the relative novelty of them, though she was quick to understand the concepts and theories.

Execution of said concepts and theories into practice however, has been…difficult. Of particular note, the adrenal invigorator which is triggered by the fight-or-fight neurological response, has been quite problematic to master and control…given the side effects of the activation of this implant, the continued prospects without concious control are quite negative.

I cannot physically go with 1123 upon her reactivation to military service, which places her training and long-term prospects in significant jeopardy…however, the events of the past few solar cycles on Vulcan have made available another option. One not without it’s risks and potential for danger to all parties concerned, but one that would provide the patient with just enough control to avoid complete disaster.

Traditional Healers on Vulcan have long been at least tangentially associated with the Cyranite spiritual reform movement…and now that T’Pau has ascended the High Command, there are techniques available to our healing caste without having to face the censor or prosecutor.

Still, such an option is one of inherent privacy.

I shall bring an option devised from such techniques to the Subject tomorrow, before her official release from Division 14’s custody. I shall not be informing my colleagues prior to this, and this record shall only be of concern should I suffer any side effects of neural backlash that would leave me unable to relay the emergency information myself.

The specifics of my plan and the technique employed, shall be explained in my personal files, under document CASEID:1123-Null-Sukret-VIII. The Access code will be embedded in the metadata for this log.

The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few…or the one.


There was a stillness…a feeling of serene confidence…a calm pool of water into which a single ring of ripples moved across the surface with each breath. Not what Saorise had expected for her return to space, even the occasional turbulence from the Shuttlepod’s thrusters seemed muted and kept at bay from her mind.

She sat in the passenger’s seat and closed her eyes, focusing on the memory of a burning candle. Focusing on the flame that danced upon the wick and the stern voice of a Vulcan master, devoid of emotional inference, but still carrying the weight of over a century of acquired wisdom and knowledge. “Focus on the flame…let your breath slow down until you find the center of your core…emotions are like the flame, enticing, beautiful, distracting, and destructive…notice how easily they can flit and flicker away, how a simple spark can become a wildfire, when not controlled. Now see beyond the flame…see that even all this apparent chaos is still ruled by the fundlemental physics of nature….”

”…the chemical reactions bound by the physical logic of existence.” She finished the instruction with a whisper.

”Did you say something, ma’am?” The voice of the shuttle’s pilot called back. He was a young, too young perhaps, Starfleet ensign, a Filipino by the accent, and had a certain anxious energy about him. Saorise had heard that the Commonwealth forces were pushing hard to replenish in the face of attrition by the Romulans, but she hadn’t thought that might include crashing cadets through Starfleet Academy as quickly as possible…and yet, without the evidence of a service record to review, this Ensign could easily be the result of such a desperate measure.

Then again, if true, it would still not have been as desperate a measure as the actual Military had taken with her.

“Not really, just running a few ideas through my head.” She got up from the chair straightened the camos and browns of her MACO active duty uniform and made her way to the cockpit windows, placing a hand on the back of the pilot’s chair. “We should be nearing the Endeavour soon, yes?”

The pilot nodded. “I am just about to take us arouund to her, aye. Starboard window in…6 seconds.”

Saorise felt the inertia shift to the side as the pilot steered the Shuttlepod to starboard, and she gazed out of the corresponding window. The Endeavour appeared, drifting across the window into view as the young ensign began to align the pod for final docking approach.

As her eyes glanced at the nacelles and secondary hull of the Columbia-class starship, Saorise felt the world go number around her….all senses, except for the eyes which were focused so intently on the hull, dulled. She could barely register the Ensign’s nervous voice as he hailed the vessel and started stuttering through the docking protocols with his opposite on the other end.

The Endeavour was majestic…that secondary hull and attaching pylon struts gave her a more…regal, profile then that of the basic flatter-bottomed NX-designs she had been upgraded from. The struts from the nacelles had been extended down to this new cylindrical hull section, giving the forward profile more of a triangle-like shape.

It wasn’t the awe however, that gave Major Saorise Hess-Caidin pause however. It was the sudden awareness of her entire body tightening up, of a deep pressure being felt on all her muscles and nerves…of the quickening pace of her heart.

Sudden prangs of anxiety, fear, dread, raced across her mind and all she could hear was the drum of her heart and release of endorphins to-

….do nothing. There was clarity again, the pressure released, her body relaxed, and her mind became still.

See the flame. See how logic is the basis of all things…see past the emotions and let them pass. You are in control.

She let out a slow breath and her senses returned to normal.

”-we’re on our final approach, Shuttle Control. We’re five-by-five over hear and our alignment is green. Confirm?” The Ensign’s voice returned to Saorise’s full register.

”We’re confirmed, Shuttlepod 2. You may proceed. See you in 5, Control out.” Came a female voice of the comms, as the Ensign finished setting the docking procedures and then glanced over his shoulder towards the Major.

”We’ll be onboard soon, you may want to take your seat as we enter range of the Endeavour’s grav-plating.” He suggested before returning back to his controls.

”Very good.” Saorise said as she finished regaining her sense of calm. “I shall do so. Thank you, Ensign.”