The Promenade of Starbase Bravo hummed with life. A low, warm thrum of voices carried from every direction as civilians and off-duty officers mingled beneath soft light and polished duranium arches. Traders called out from kiosks layered with colorful goods. There were shimmering Andorian silks, translucent Vulcan tapestries and steaming Tellarite skewers. A Bajoran woman bartered for spices beside a lanky Kelpien in a rust-red tunic.

A panicked shout rang out above the chatter. “My produce!” The call was followed by the clatter of crates. The furious Ferengi waved his PADD as four Torothan goats stampeded into view. Two were dappled with red-brown spots on a tan coat. The other pair was a rich chocolate-black. Each goat sported four horns. Two protrusions curved outwards like scimitars. The other set stood straight like spikes. Their narrow hooves clipped along the deck plating as they bounded between stalls. They paused to chomp ripe Jiballan melons. The smallest goat knocked over a carefully arranged stack of Denevan figs.

A Bolian shopkeeper shrieked as one chewed at a curtain hem. Inside the Bolian tailor’s stall, Ensign Caaral Topaz-Smythe froze mid-turn. A flash of dark fur barreled past him, nearly knocking over a mirror. Another goat followed. It bleated in triumph as his horns scraped the doorframe. The tailor ducked behind a hovering cart.

Caaral moved quickly after the animals. “Hey! No! Not in there,” he called. Ensign Topaz-Smythe followed the goats out into the crowd. A nearby Andorian officer glanced up, amused. Caaral jogged through startled shoppers. The Trill-Human hybrid made clucking, cooing noises like it might help. One of them paused just long enough to look back at him. It chewed slowly as it bolted toward a row of a Betazoid’s wine crates.

“Stop that goat!” Caaral shouted.

As the goat zeroed in on the fragile wares, a hand wrapped around one of its taller horns and gently steered it away. “Whoa, buddy!”

Dawa jogged alongside the goat for a brief moment until the creature slowed, apparently confused by its change in direction. Before it could gather its wits, Dawa descended upon it with generous neck scratches, hearty pats to its flank, and loving words. She knelt next to it, safely behind the threatening horns, and it wriggled in delight as she continued to pet it. Hopefully the ministrations would keep it from returning to its herd mates for a fresh bout of chaos, at least for a few moments. To be fair, she was enjoying herself as well. Starbase Bravo wasn’t usually known to host petting zoos.

She caught sight of Caaral as he jogged up and noted the concern etched on his face. “Ensign, where did these little guys come from?”

Caaral seemed flustered and somewhat surprised. His honey brown eyes locked onto Dawa’s. “Good afternoon ma’am. These ladies and gentlemen made their way into Holio’s suit store.”

He chuckled as he remembered the shock on the shopkeeper’s face. One of the goats approached the Lieutenant Commander and began to sniff her hand.

Caaral straightened his teal-shouldered uniform with a tug before leaning forward to pat one of the goats. “One thing’s for certain.” He pointed towards the shopkeepers gathered in the distance. “They’re not going to be happy with the owners.”

The Ensign looked back down to the goats as they gathered around the woman. “They do seem to like you though.”

A goat bleated a muffled call, almost seemingly in response.

Dawa twitched in surprise at the sound of the goat’s approval–the one that had been sniffing her hand–and reached out to scratch its neck as well. “Am I Alpha Goat now?” she asked in wonder.

The goats’ wagging tails seemed answer enough. “Ensign, I’ve only got two hands. Give these kids some positive reinforcement. We wanna get in good with them.”

The goats, who surely didn’t speak Federation Standard, nonetheless seemed to grasp the meaning of what Dawa had just said, and the two unattended goats cautiously approached Caaral with curious flicks of their tails.

“I’m Dawa Vlček, by the way. Starfighter division. What’s your name?”

The Ensign tried to maintain eye contact but had to look down towards the approaching Torothans. He anxiously lingered on a humming syllable for a moment before speaking. “Caaral Topaz.” His skittish golden palm patted the side of a spotted goat.

The other goat sprinted towards his lowered palm and sniffed. It bleated an aggravated call as it wished for food. “Starfighters, huh? That’s intense. I had family that flew fighters during the Dominion War.”

As one goat licked the Trill hybrid’s open right palm, the other sniffed towards his left leg. Caaral knelt to one knee and ran his hand along their necks. The spotted one to his right curled and turned to look back towards Dawa.

“I’m a Science officer working towards a biology role. I’ve heard there are interesting ecological postings on Mellstoxx III, though. I bet you see a lot of amazing sights out there, huh?”

Dawa offered him a broad smile, and was about to reply when the sight of a golden-yellow operations uniform caught her eye. She nodded at the lieutenant junior-grade who came sprinting over as soon as he spotted the goats.

“Are you with security?” Dawa asked. The young man nodded.

“We’ve apprehended the culprits, lieutenant,” she said, a wink implied in her facetious tone of voice. “But we need to get them into custody. Start at Holio’s suit store and follow the carnage in that direction. and maybe you can track down the owner. But first–”

The lieutenant jerked back from his aborted attempt to depart. Dawa pulled a small PADD from her pocket and handed it to him. “Go buy us a couple of heads of Denevan cabbage on my credit line, if you would please!”

“Yessir.” The lieutenant furrowed his brow at the PADD and made his way into the thick of the Promenade, head on a swivel in search of the produce stand.

Dawa returned her attention to Caaral. “So, a biologist, huh? That’s great! It sounds exciting! I don’t get to go planet-side very often, and when I do, it’s usually to a colony. Nothing particularly spectacular there. But there IS a spaceborne alien in our system called Gomthree that’s supposedly a living spaceship! I’ve only seen him from kilometers away, which is pretty close as far as space goes, but I wish I could get closer.”

“A living starship?!” The excitement in Caaral’s voice could be felt from across the room. “That’s absolutely incredible. Three kilometers is practically holding hands out there.”

Caaral knew how powerful the sensors in fighters could be. He tried to visualize seeing the entity on a viewscreen. “I’m not a biologist yet”, he said through a chuckle. “Clearly.”

He looked up as he knelt, turning to watch the Lieutenant sprint to a nearby stall. The spotted goat leaned up to run a snout against Caaral’s neck.

“Actually, I have an idea.” The Trill hybrid reached into his pocket and pulled out a thin tricorder. “I know the Zoology department here tags their animals. Maybe this one has some sort of…” His tricorder beeped as he scanned. “Record.”

The darker goat slapped a heavy nose against Caaral’s gripping hand. “Oh!” He tore his hand away from the curious animal, lights flashing on the tricorder.

“Any luck?” asked Dawa. “If not, I can get access to the shipping manifest database. Once the lieutenant brings back my PADD. And our goat bribery.”

Ensign Topaz-Smythe stood and adjusted his uniform, chuckling as he finally read the tricorder screen. “Hmm, this doesn’t tell much. It shows the goats were transferred from the Zoology department in early May. But I don’t see specifics.”

He quickly returned to stroking the goats along their necks to keep them from running off.

A flurry of scarlet feathers clad in a white suit ambled noisily down the hall. “My goats! There they are.” A red Klowahkan jogged towards the group. His feathered hand wiped his brow as he spoke. “Herding goats is like keeping a hot pan of jam from exploding. By the time you notice the first pop, it’s already on the ceiling.”

“Well, that’s a vivid simile if ever I’ve heard one,” said Dawa, attempting to stand while still giving the goats their attention.

“Now, you might not want to admit that too loudly out here,” she continued in a teasing tone. “These kids have done a good deal of damage to the shops out here, and they’re not the ones who are going to be on the hook for the damage.”

As she finished her sentence, the lieutenant from security came jogging over with a cabbage in each hand. All the goats’ eyes were on him immediately, a fact he was keenly aware of if his nervous shifting was anything to go by.

Dawa reached out and took the cabbages, and the goats grew even more alert. “Thank you, lieutenant… what’s your name?”

“Mahamat.”

“Lieutenant Mahamat.” She nodded and turned back to the Klowahkan. “Do you have any proof of ownership that you can share with Lieutenant Mahamat of station security here?”

“Station Security? Surely these little beauties couldn’t have caused too much trouble.” Plumage-lined hands interlocked as his large yellow-rimmed eyes looked innocently towards Lt. Mahamat.

“I mean, they are rambunctious. Yes.” The Klowahkan seemed lost in his thoughts for a moment. “You should he able to find a register of sale in the Promenade manifest. I just purchased these lively folk not but two days ago.”

“I didn’t see any signs of a trade on my tricorder”, Ensign Topaz-Smythe said through a look of confusion.

The goats had abandoned him to swarm around the dropped cabbage. Bleats of accomplishment resonated through the herd.

The Klowahkan’s right hand spun in a circle as his left fell to his side. His head lowered as he leaned forward. “The name is Glazmar Bastek. These animals are part of a breeding program. We also sell fresh milk and eggs to restaurants here.”

“I believe the one I got them from said these animals were donated from the Zoology team. Their genetics really are exquisite. Many customers have already made inquiries about the meat.”

His ruddy hand waved excitedly and shed a small feather that slowly floated to the ground. “But not these four, oh no.”

Caaral felt a twitch of concern. If the sale didn’t show up in a scan of the animal, that meant the manual log might have to be checked. There were at least hundreds of transactions during most hours. Search functions could narrow down results, yet the Science officer once had a problem where a seller failed to log a transaction.

Dawa figured that the relief she felt at knowing that the goats weren’t destined for the dinner table must have been obvious on her face, so she shook it off, squared her shoulders, and got back to business.

“If Ensign Topaz-Smythe here didn’t find a notice of trade on the Zoology department’s tag, then these goats may have been ‘donated’ only in a euphemistic sense. It sounds like Lieutenant Mahamat is going to have a lot of logs to search through,” she said, sympathy apparent in her tone.

“Right,” said Mahamat. “And in the meantime, I’m going to have to take these goats into, um, into custody. I guess.”

Dawa stifled a laugh. “Well, we can help you herd them back to the security office, if you like.”

She handed Caaral a half-demolished head of cabbage and smiled. “Right?”

The Trill grinned toothily as he took the vegetables. “Seems to be the least we can do. I’ll have to come back to finish shopping.”

Glazmar seemed surprisingly patient. “Oh well. You can’t rush a simmering pasta sauce if you’re cooking with fresh tomatoes. I’m sure we’ll get everything sorted.” He trotted to the front of the group, content to let the officers herd the livestock.