Part of USS Crazy Horse: Blood For Blood and Bravo Fleet: Blood Dilithium

Even a Square Peg Will Fit With A Big Enough Hammer

USS Crazy Horse - Sickbay
November 16, 2400 1800
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Marcus stared down at the console watching the transfer screen complete.  He hesitated before continuing.  It had been nearly two weeks of fighting this system.  So far the EMH program had proven to be a most difficult and aggravating experience.   The software was proving to be incompatible with the hardware.

“So?” Erin asked.  “Did it download from the holodeck mainframe?”

Marcus didn’t look at the commander still staring at the button marked “initialize”.

“Hey, Marcus!” Erin called her voice pitched up to catch his attention.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah it’s done.”

“Then let’s see if it works,” Erin urged.  “It worked on the holodeck.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I suppose we could recreate sickbay there.”

Erin shifted and placed her left hand on her hip, “Marcus stop stalling and just load the program.”

Still Marcus hesitated, “Schrodinger’s Program.  Until I hit that button it is both working and not working.”

“Oh for God’s sake!” Erin said exasperated, and reached over the console and hit the initialize button herself.

The EMH materialized, “Please state the nature of the medical emergency.”

Marcus let out a long sigh of relief.  “Initiate diagnostic protocols,” he said to the holographic doctor. “I am initiating a level 3 diagnostic of the recognition and diagnostic subroutines.”

Erin moved to a nearby console and started scrolling though the pages of data, “I’m not seeing an errors. How about you?”

“Everything seems to be working properly.  Do a diagnostic on that predictive algorithm.”

“Sure,” Erin replied as her fingers danced over the console.  “It’s working perfectly.  The auxiliary computer core is handling it without any issues.

“I think it’s working perfectly. I can’t believe it.”

“Well, when you beat your head against a wall long enough when you finally do pound your way though it you begin to doubt your own eyes.”

Marcus laughed, “So it would seem.” Entering commands he took the EMH out of the diagnostic state.  Turning to the EMH he spoke, “Identify yourself.”

The EMH blinked, “I am the Emergency Medical Hologram, Mk. X. I am currently assigned to the USS Crazy Horse.”

“Do you know where you are at?” Marcus asked.

“Of course I know where I am at,” The EMH replied annoyance in his voice. “Sickbay.”

“Well, it appears recognition sub-routines are working,” Erin observed.  “Could do with an improvement in the bedside manner department.”

“Madam I am a doctor, not a stand-up comedian. You want friendly go to a restaurant.”

“Some of Doctor Zimmerman’s personality is seeping though,” Marcus commented amused.

“I could care less about how nice he is, can he be a doctor?” Doctor Mulder said injecting herself into the conversation.  “You have a patient with a compound fracture of the fibula. What do you do?”

The EMH accessed the files for a fraction of a second. Due to the unusual installation his processing capabilities would be delayed, but would still be as good as any flesh and blood doctor. “Administer 20ccs of anethrizine.  Stabilize any damage to soft tissue, especially blood vessels.  Set the bone by grabbing the ankle and thigh and pulling until the bones are aligned.  In rare cases a laser scalpel is needed to dissect the the muscle to remove bone fragments and foreign debris. Secure the bone with micro staples and regenerate with a oseteo-regenerator. Irrigate the wound liberally with an antiseptic solution and use a dermal regenerator to close the wound. Administer antibiotics to preempt any bacteria that was not removed during the cleaning process.”

Doctor Mulder looked like the weight of the world had been lifted off of her, “He’ll do. Doc, you have sickbay.” She handed the EMH the PADD she was holding along with her medical tricorder. “Thank you two. You are life savers,” she gave Marcus and Erin a tired smile and walked out of sickbay.

“Excuse me!  I am a supplemental program.”

“Doc,” Marcus interjected.  “Doctor Mulder is the only doctor on this ship. She had been doing the work of three doctors for two weeks now. She’ll be here if you need her, but I expect she’s going to crawl into bed and sleep until tomorrow.”

The EMH processed the information and nodded to Marcus, “Your explanation is acceptable.  You should endeavor to get replacement doctors the next time at starbase.”

“We’ll do that,” Erin said with a conspiratorial grin at Marcus.  “Let’s get out of here. The Lodge is having live music tonight.”

Marcus grinned, “That sounds like a great way to unwind.” He fell in step with Erin and headed for the exit, “See you around Doc.”

“I’ll be here,” The EMH replied, “It’s not like I can go anywhere.”