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Part of USS Crazy Horse: Blood For Blood and Bravo Fleet: Blood Dilithium

Fitting a Square Peg into a Round Hole

November 15, 2400
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Lt. Marcus Washington stood behind the EMH control panel and tapped out commands. “Here it goes.”

The Federation’s latest iteration of the Emergency Medical Hologram shimmered into existence.  “Please state the nat…nate…nate..ture o..o..o..f the med…,” the EMH spoke before the program completely crashed.

“Damn!” Marcus swore.

“We are forcing a sophisticated program onto a computer that neither was designed for. It would be like trying to run a holonovel on a calculator.” Lt. Commander Erin Hayden observed.

Marcus sighed,  “Then we need to force it… somehow.”  Marcus has spent the majority of his career on the Crazy Horse and never on a ship with an EMH.  This was out of his area of expertise and he had hoped the Sojourner’s Cheif Engineer who did have experience with this program could help them.

USS Sojourner – Engineering 

Lieutenant Belania was assisting Thanen, the Chief Engineer as they continued to review the holo matrix and EMH programme on the Sojourner trying to figure out why it wasn’t working. No matter what they did, what diagnostics they ran everything came back in the clear. 

“I just don’t get it,” Belania said as she rubbed just behind her lobes. Whenever she got frustrated a pressure headache always seemed to start there. “Nothing seems to be wrong. Maybe we should have wiped it and done a full reinstall from the backup.”

Thanen shook his head, clearly frustrated as well. “Maybe…but I think there is something else going on. It almost seems like the programme is purposely changing to prevent the activation. We’ll get it.”

Before Belania could respond a young Ensign ran over. “Sir, incoming communication from the a Lieutenant Commander Hayden on the Crazy Horse.”

“Thank you Ensign,” Thanen responded, “I’ll take it in my office. Belania try realigning the matrix and routing it through holodeck 1 this time. Never know right.”

A moment later Thanen walked into his office and activated the computer. “Commander Hayden, what can I do you for?”

“I was hoping you had more experience with EMH programs.  We are having problems integrating one into our ship’s computer.” Erin replied. 

Thanen’s entire body slumped and he signed, “Cursed EMHs. We are currently having issues with ours. After we, well the new senior crew, arrived on the Sojourner, its EMH shut down. Let me get Belania and we can run through what your issue is.”

He tapped his combadge, “Thanen to Belania, can you come to my office? Commander Hayden on the Crazy Horse is having some issues with their EMH. I think we should be able to help.”

A moment later Belania walked in, “Commanders,” she said with a nod.

“So Commander Hayden, what exactly is the issue you have been having? I am not familiar with the setup of the Crazy Horse and its EMH.” 

“We haven’t had one, and we are trying to get this old computer to accept the EMH code.  The problem crashes almost immediately after it’s activated.”

Belania nodded as she listened, “Ah, have you tried running it through the holodeck to see if your holodeck is able to process the programme? At the very, lest get the EMH up. If so it could be that the computer is accessing the whole programme at once including the entire medical library; thus straining the system.  What circuitry are you running, has the Crazy Horse, been upgraded to include the latest bio-neural gel packs? If not we have a few dozen on board, I think we could send your way.” She paused and looked at Thanen, “If the chief agrees that is.”

Thanen chucked under his breath, “Happy to help in any way we can.”

Washington laughed,  “Bio-neural circuitry came out 40 years after this ship launched.  We’re lucky we’re dealing with isolinear circuts. And no, we haven’t tried running it though the holodeck.”

Belania unsuccessfully tried to hide a groan of annoyance when Washington spoke. “Oh. Well. I would try the holodeck and we can send some bio-neural gel packs your way. Our shuttle can be with you in 6 hours. I think you could work them into the holographic matrix linking it to your computer core for just the EMH. Might take a bit of a workaround but should be straightforward.”

“If you agree I am pretty sure we can have Ensign Tycon depart shortly with the packs.”

“No sense in doing all that.  I couldn’t even guess how long it would take to retrofit the Crazy Horse with gel packs.  If we thought adding an EMH was putting a square peg in a round hole that really is.  We’ll try the holodeck and go from there,” Washington said. 

“You sure? Is easy enough to get them to you?” Thanen said before continuing, “Either way give the holodeck a go and let us know how it works. If you can stabilize the projection there it should be able to transfer to the emitter system you have set up relatively easily. The main issue will be the flow of data from the main computer. You could try setting up a standalone data circuit with the isolinear chips for the EMH to cut down on the risk of the system overloading?”

“You think it’s too much data or too little at a time?  I wonder if we could use an AI algorithm to tap into both the primary and secondary computer cores. Utilize the added processing power to work as a predictive program to queue needed data and have it ready to be used,” Marcus suggested. 

Thanen glanced at Belania who nodded, “I think it is the volume of data. Your suggestion could work well. Give it a go an let us know.”

“I appreciate the consult,” Erin said. “Crazy Horse out.”

Thanen turned to Belania once the screen switched to the rotating logo of Star Fleet, “Nice to know we aren’t the only ones with EMH issues. Pitty we didn’t know about it during the refuelling though. We could have helped them through it in person.”

Belania nodded in agreement, “Pretty sure they will sort it. Hayden and Washington seemed to know their stuff. They will likely have it sorted before we can get ours to work. I will see about doing what we told them ourselves. Maybe realigning the matrix and using the holodeck will give us a clearer idea.”

“Let me know if you need a hand. If I can I will join you if not Anahis can give you a hand.” Thanen said as he turned to leave the office. “I need to have a chat with the Captain.”


  • Yessssssss, the crossover we were waiting for! A campaign like this is all the more reason to see new pairings of characters interact. Great choice. Given the high stakes of both missions, it amused me greatly that the two crews ended up comparing notes over their EMHes being on the fritz. Kind of a perfect misery loves company sitch. I enjoyed Belania's indomitable spirit, always wheeling and dealing, and never giving up. Washington sure made me laugh with, "We’re lucky we’re dealing with isolinear circuts." What does an Excelsior-class need with an EMH anyway??

    December 9, 2022