Personal log: Following the events within the Velorum Sector, both the Leda and the Xenius put in for repairs on Starbase 11. Cadet Rey Ford was immediately placed under arrest for mutiny, endangering the lives of her crew and a slew of minor infractions against Starfleet regulations. I have the unfortunate duty of appearing as a material witness to a board of inquiry. I know my duty, but I can’t help the feeling that I’m condemning a friend. I think I’ll stop by the bar first, just to calm my nerves.

“Vodka, neat,” Evelyn said to the ferengi bartender. When he reached for the synthohol, she tapped the laminate bar top. “I’d prefer the real thing, please. If you have it.” The ferengi nodded and knelt down to his private stock.

“This, I can’t give out for free,” said the barkeep. He held a stout, short necked bottle in his hand and waited for her reply.

“Oh,” she said. Ev felt like a deflated balloon and soon began to rise from the bar.

“Wait, wait.” The barkeep nodded and poured a shot straight from the bottle. “I was just joking. Just a bad …” he looked as if he was about to cry. “… bad joke.”

“Leave — could you leave the bottle?” Ev asked, her voice meek and wavering.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

“Just don’t put it away yet, please.”

The barkeep did as she asked and Ev downed the shot quickly. The burn caused her to cough. The ferengi turned away to hide his smirk.

“Another, please.”

Again, the ferengi poured another shot and Evelyn downed it as quickly as the last. She coughed after the burn. The LT tapped the bar indicating she wanted a third drink, but was flushed from the first two shots.

“I think you’ve had enough.” The barkeep grabbed the shot glass. Ev grabbed his arm.

“Just one more. P-please.”

Ev’s eyes diverted from the ferengi as she pulled her hand away. He poured a third glass.

“I know I’m going to regret this, but is there something wrong?”

The woman said nothing for several seconds while her fingers tapped the side of the shot glass. The bartender shrugged and reached for a rag to wipe the counter.

“I can’t talk about it,” she finally said.

“I can’t talk about it.” The barkeep laughed. “I hear that a lot around here. No worries, okay?” The ferengi began to wipe down the bar. Ev finally took the third shot. She coughed again and began to ask for a fourth, but stopped herself.

“It was cold in here when I came in, but now …” she looked around the room as if to seek out the hot spot. “N-now I’m sw-sweating from the alc-alcohol.”

“It’ll do that. Anything else?” asked the barkeep.

“Before, I said I couldn’t tell you what was going on, but hypno- hyponthetic — hypothetically speaking — I mean, we could discuss hypnotheticals, right?”

“Sure. I get lot of hypnotheticals around here too.” The ferengi placed the vodka bottled back with his private stash and took a seat. “Shoot.”

“O-okay. Say you had a friend that you tried to help, but they did something unethict — unethical and now you have to do something that will get them into trouble. A-and if you don’t do it, you’ll get into trouble.”

“You like this person?”

“Oh yes. She’s — their personality is an acquired taste, admittedly, but they’ll make a fine officer one — one day, if given the chance.”

“No. I asked you if you liked this person, not if they’re the next Picard.”

“Yes. I like — I mean, you would like — I’m very bad at this.”

“I can tell.” The ferengi rolled his eyes then thought for a moment, rubbing his temple as he did. “How much trouble would you — could I get into if I don’t do this hypothetical thing?”

“A lot. It’s a court martial offense … or could be, I think.”

The barkeep whistled. “Cut them loose and do your — I mean, I’d do my duty.”

Ev nodded sadly. “I knew that, but — no, I can’t lie. Wh-what I mean is, I physically can’t lie. I get fuster — I get flusterededed — my face goes red.”

“Don’t lie, exaggerate. Vulcans do it all the time.”

“I feel, I mean you would feel, that is … shit.” Ev sighed heavily and tapped the bar counter again. “Just one more, please?”

The ferengi also sighed heavily, but poured out another shot for his customer. “Last one. If you start a war or something because you were plastered in phaser control, don’t come crying to me.”

Ev downed the shot and coughed. “Y-your name will never come up.”

“Yeah, thanks for that.” The bartender rolled his eyes again and wiped the condensation from the bar table. “Rules of Acquisition number 21. Never place friendship above profit. Your friend did something very bad, I mean my friend or whatever.” The ferengi waved the hypotheticals off like a gnat in his face. “Anyway, just do your duty and live a good life. It may be that your friend is screwed, but you can take comfort knowing that the system works.”

Ev noticed the room was starting to sway. She grabbed onto the bar and held tight. “B-but what if my friend did something go-good by doing something ba-bad?”

“Rules of Acquisition number 285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.”

“That d-doesn’t seem right.” She glanced back at the ferengi and smiled sheepishly. “Just one more?”

“That’s life,” said the barkeep. He grabbed a bottle of synthohol and poured. Ev didn’t notice as she downed the final drink. The burn felt the same; she coughed. Lt. Sommers then placed her head on the bar top. The cool laminate soothed her burning forehead.

“Lady, I just wiped that. Do you mind?”

“It’s okay,” said Ev as she raised her head from the bar. “I have to — I have to be at a board of inquiry in an hours — an hour.”

“Somehow, I don’t think you’re going to make it. Do you have someone you can call?”

Ev fell forward; her face hit the bar. “Ughhhh …”

“I’ll take that as a no.”