The shrill chime of the alarm echoed through the room for the third time, earning a deeply unhappy grunt from Aakon. He reached over and finally shut the alarm off for good and brought the lights up to 35%.. He could see 0545 flashing on the beside chronometer; normally Alpha shift came on duty at 0730 but with their arrival at Framheim Station being slated for 0630 he had opted to be on the bridge by 0615.

He rolled over to look at the other side of the bed, finding it empty. Jackson always was an early riser. He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and rubbing his face with his hands. Mornings had always been his downfall.

He heard the bathroom door behind him slide open and closed, soft footfalls signaling Jackon’s approach to the bed. “I see the third alarm did the trick. Usually you get to four or five.” He could hear the undercurrent of affection in Jackson’s tone.

Aakon snorted. “I’m just as surprised as you are. If it’s before 0600 then it takes a rampaging sehlat to get me out of bed.” He felt the bed dip a bit as Jackson sat down on the other side.

There were several minutes of silence, the mood of the room slipping into awkwardness. “Thanks for letting me stay here last night.”

Aakon felt himself shrug. “Of course. No different than the last few months.” Except it was. It was plain as day there had been a shift.

More silence followed before Jackson spoke again. “I guess I’ll see you on the bridge then.”

Aakon could feel the emotions rolling off Jackson; disappointment, frustration, pensiveness. He said nothing as he felt the bed shift from Jackson standing up.

“Wait.”

Jackson paused, halfway to the door. “What?”

Aakon, still sitting on the bed, looked up and over at him. “This is probably the worst time to do this but I think it’s time to talk. I don’t want to spend the next 10 hours on duty acting awkward with each other.”

Jackson’s eyebrows popped up in surprise. “Oh. Yeah, I guess that’s good.” He took a few steps towards the bed and sat down next to Aakon. “First off, I’m sorry.”

Aakon’s brows furrowed. There was nothing at all for him to apologize for. “For what?” 

Jackson shifted uncomfortably next to him. “I never should have come here last night. It was inappropriate of me. When we first met you made it clear how this would work and what you wanted and I was in complete agreement. You did not want a relationship; you’re the Captain and it’s detrimental for other members of the crew to see us together. Our connection was purely physical and outside of that we were simply friendly colleagues. Last night I pushed the boundary a bit too much. We’re back on the ship now and I need to be mindful of that.”

Aakon softly sighed. “That’s not something to apologize for. We’ve both been pushing boundaries for a while now. I didn’t want to admit it to myself at the moment but, I wanted you here last night. It didn’t feel right being alone. I can tell myself over and over again it’s just what I was used to but it’s more than that. I missed you.”

“Oh.” Was all Jackson offered in a soft tone. Aakon took that as permission to continue.

“We’ve spent the last few months locked in each other’s orbit. I was not in a good place after the Nightfall invasion and you sacrificed your own leave and personal life to” he paused, mind seeking the correct wording. “Be there for me when I needed someone most.”

“It seemed like the right thing to do. I could see you needed someone to lean on, someone to trust and I saw that, I think,  better than anyone else.” Jackson sighed. “I see a side of you the others don’t see, the side behind closed doors. No matter the nature of our relationship, you are my friend and I would never forgive myself if I ignored that.”

Aakon could feel the pinkprick of tears at the corner of his eyes. His own problems, his own ignorance, his own fear about relationships that he’d buried long ago had kept him in his own little bubble. Jackson deserved better.

“I know.” He turned his head to look at Jackson. “I don’t have a way to describe how much what you did means to me. You deserve better than what I’ve been giving.”

Jackson’s face scrunched up in confusion, though his eyes betrayed the slight panic that had crept in with it. “You haven’t been treating me poorly. I’m a grown man Aakon; if you’d been doing anything improper or I didn’t think this was working then I’d would’ve walked away or at least said something.”

Aakon shook his head. “It’s not that I’ve felt I’ve done something improper, it’s that this has moved beyond a purely physical relationship and I’ve been acting like it hasn’t. It’s not fair to you. My own demons are keeping you in this awkward tap dance.”

Jackson shifted position, placing a hand on Aakon’s thigh. “If I had expectations that this would develop into something more I would have told you that. I can’t pretend that I don’t feel something more for you but I knew that was a possibility. I know what I signed up for when this started and if that all it ever is then that’s perfectly fine to me. You aren’t holding me back or stringing me alone, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

Aakon cleared his throat, chuckling softly. “You sure you aren’t a Betazoid? You’re reading my thoughts better than I can.”

Jackson smiled. “No, I just know the man next to me very well. He’s kind, funny, fiercely loyal, deeply concerned about the wellbeing of every last person under his command, and genuinely one of the most wonderful beings I’ve ever met.”

Aakon felt the tear slide down his left cheek; he had never been a cryer but it was too early in the morning to contain the few that were sliding down. “I’m pretty sure I could say the same about you.”

Jackson gave his thigh a squeeze. “Actually, you can’t. I’m not in command and wouldn’t dare get within 50 feet of the Captains chair no matter how much you pay me, not that we get paid.”

Aakon laughed, leaning closer to the other man. “You have a point.”

A soft chime came from the speaker next to the bed. “Captain, we’re approaching Framheim Station. ETA is 17 minutes.”

Aakon sighed. “Duty never ends, does it?” 

“I better get up to the bridge, not sure it’ll look good for both of us to get there at the same time.” Jackson began to stand before Aakon reached up and gave his arm a soft tug, pulling him back down to the bed.

Aakon took a deeper breath. “You don’t have to leave before me. I think we’re a bit beyond that now.” 

A smile crossed Jackson’s face. “Only if you are ok with it. I don’t expect anything beyond what we agreed to last year.”

Aakon leaned over, placing a quick soft kiss on Jackson’s lips. “I know I want you in my life. I don’t know what that looks like or how that works and I will figure that out soon, I promise, but I think we don’t need to hide anything. I just need to work on a few things first, maybe get this mission out of the way.” Aakon paused. “So no need to hide or do anything beyond acting proper while we’re on duty.”

“So no making out on the Captain’s chair?”

Aakon snorted. “No. There has to be a regulation somewhere on that.”

Jackson nodded, standing again. “Fine. I can live with that and Aakon?”

He looked up at the other man.

“Remember to breathe. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon; I’m happy to give you the space you need until you know what you want and then we can figure out what ‘us’ looks like. Together.”

Aakon reached up, grasping Jackson’s hand and giving it a squeeze. “Thank you. Lesser men would have walked away long ago.”

Jackson squeezed his hand in reply. “What can I say, I’ve always been a sucker for a man in red.” He took a few steps towards the door. “I think I will head up to the bridge, can’t be late for my shift after all. No matter how much I like you I can’t have you ruining my performance metrics.” Jackson winked before slipping out the door.

–Bridge–

Aakon stepped into the Bridge at 0619; a fashionable four minutes late. Jackson was already at the security and tactical station and Maria sat at the science station. Izzy was nowhere to be found. The Lieutenant Commander sitting in the command chair stood, nodding at Aakon.

“Good morning Captain. Uneventful night shift. We should be exiting the conduit in a few minutes “ He handed the PADD in his hand over to Aakon.

“Thank you, Commander. You stand relieved.” Aakon glanced down at the PADD. At first glance it appeared to all be the run of the mill data.

The other man nodded, quickly walking away to get some rest. Aakon took his seat as he heard the turbolift doors open.

“My apologies for being late Captain.” Izzy said as she crossed the front of the Bridge to sit in her chair.

“Don’t worry about it Izzy. You got here before we exited the conduit.” Aakon suppressed a yawn. He knew he should have gotten coffee before arriving on the Bridge.

“We are exiting the aperture Captain.” Reported the Ensign at the helm.

Aakon looked up as the golden tunnel that had filled the viewscreen gave way to inky black of space. He could see Framheim Station in the far distance, small vessels flitting around it.

“Astrometric readings confirm our arrival in the Shackleton Expanse.” Reported helm.

“Receiving a signal from Framheim. We’ve been cleared to approach and offload the supplies we’ve brought.”

“Take us in and start the transport cycle when ready.” Izzy leaned back in her chair after giving the order.

It only took moments for the Merrimack’s large impulse engines to push the vessel within transport range.

“Beginning transport cycle.”

With the numerous industrial transporters the ship carried it, again, only took moments to offload the supplies they had carried. While the supplies beamed out, the final dozen or so of the Merrimack’s crew beamed over from the station.

“Transport complete. All supplies have been beamed over and the station has beamed over 14 officers. We’ve been given permission to depart.”

Aakon and Izzy turned to face each other. 

“That’s it?” Muttered Izzy.

“Guess when you arrive after the first wave of exploratory ships there isn’t much pomp and circumstance.” Aakon yawned. “I could have slept in another 45 minutes.”

“I’m telling you, wake up early and work out and you’ll have a lot more energy and start to love mornings.”

Aakon’s eyes narrowed. “Those sound like words worthy of a court-martial.”

Izzy turned to face the viewscreen, a smile on her face. “It’ll improve your mood too.”

Aakon grunted, also turned to face the viewscreen. “You know, I hear the Galaxy is in need of a new XO. You can help Captain Demar spread that morning cheer.”

Izzy smirked. “I’ll have my bags packed and ready for when they get back from the Gamma quadrant.”

“That took a lot less convincing than I thought it would.” Aakon turned his attention to the helm. “Let’s not take up space out here. Lieutenant, set a course for Marrak IV, warp 8.”

The Excelsior class ship slowly turned away from the station, impulse engines glowing a bright red as the ship picked up speed. It only took a few seconds to reach a safe range, the warp engines flashing blue as the ship leapt to light speed.