The door to Lieutenant Commander Ikastrul Zaa’s office slid open with a quiet hiss. Ensign Kian Harol stepped inside, shoulders formally squared and tense. Cornflower blue eyes carried the weight of heavy thought.

The meeting room chosen by the chief counselor was Spartan. The only touches of softness were the potted plants scattered across the compact room’s shelves and stands. Some were leafy, with broad fronds. Others had long vines that brushed the edges of the floor. A tall cactus rose from a wide, colorful pot in the corner. Its thick, fleshy leaves fanned upward. Each appendage was tipped with a single sharp point. The air smelled faintly of soil.

A single chair sat in the center of the space across from her desk. The wide seat was plush with deep padding. It rested on a responsive axis that allowed it to spin with only a light shift of weight. The desk was bare except for a small PADD and ceramic mug. A relatively small window revealed pinpricks of distant starlight against the never-ending obsidian expanse of deep space.

Ikastrul rose as he entered. Her gaze was direct, but there was no hardness within her onyx irises. Only patience reflected from deep within the humble Betazoid. Her long, curly brown hair was tied into a high bun.

“Come in, Kian. Please make yourself comfortable,” she said.

He sank into the chair. His fidgety hands rested on his knees, fingers splayed. Kian glanced around at the plants. He stared at the desert flora before his eyes met the Counselor’s.

“How are you adjusting this week?” She sat next as she asked. Her dainty hands fell to her lap to mimic his posture.

Kian leaned back slightly. “Pretty well, I guess.”

She nodded. “Have you made any new connections lately? Are there any friends or new colleagues that I should know about?”

“Yes sir,” he started. “There are few people in operations who I’ve been getting to know better. I’m not as quiet around the team anymore.”

“That is great to hear. So tell me. How is your personal life going?” There was almost a playfully prying tone behind Ikastrul’s query.

His lips twitched with a slight bit of warmth. “I’ve been seeing someone. Ensign Jenna Eaglesen. She’s in operations too.”

“That is absolutely amazing.” Her reply sounded genuinely enthusiastic. “I remember you telling me about her.” Ikastrul tapped a note into her PADD. “And how is work itself going?”

“No complaints,” he said. “I was on the off-ship assignment to Eldor III for the past few weeks. It was actually nice. I didn’t expect to feel so at ease that far away from the Cardinal. Jenna was there. That helped a lot.”

Her eyes softened. “It sounds like you’ve been building a strong support network.”

Kian gave a small nod. “I’ve been trying to.” The set of his shoulders finally relaxed just a little.

She glanced down at her tablet, then looked back at him. “How would you rate your stress level lately?”

The answer came quicker than she expected. “High.”

Her brows lifted slightly. “Tell me more.” She found this confusing. It almost sounded like things were going well. She could feel a painfully unresolved tension bubbling under the surface of his thoughts.

He took a slow breath. His gaze fixed on a spot just past her shoulder. “It’s been bad since we came back. Those of us who were away have a little time off now. I find it’s been harder to relax than it was to work on the class-L planet. I try the breathing exercise you told me about… the 4-7-8? I can’t keep the pattern when certain thoughts come up.”

She tilted her head. “Exactly which thoughts?”

His jaw tightened. “Talaen.”

The silence between them stretched. The name seemed to hang in the air.

He shook his head. “It’s been hitting me harder lately. I keep feeling like I moved on too fast. Jenna and I started dating a few weeks ago. I started thinking about how Talaen wasn’t just a friend anymore. Not exactly. We had been sort of flirting. I guess. It was just playful at first. I think it was starting to mean something. I didn’t even fully realize it until right now.”

Ikastrul leaned forward slightly. “And you asked her to take your place that day.”

His throat worked. “Yeah. I went to get a drink. I told her I’d be back in a minute. It seemed harmless. She smiled at me before she walked off. I said something kind of flirtatious to her before I left. She responded well. And then,” Kian let out a sharp breath. “That was the last time I saw her alive. When I found her later…” He trailed off. His hands closed into fists. “It’s like I gave her my spot on the execution block. And now what? I just kept going, right onto Jenna. I didn’t”, he paused, eyes wide and throat tight.

“Please go on”, Ikastrul urged after a few silent moments.

“I didn’t even admit to myself what I felt for her,” he said quietly. “I knew I liked her. We kind of playfully referred to each other as ‘co-worker’. It felt like we were stalling on getting to the next step. Maybe I wanted to take it slow. She probably did too. But now there’s no later.”

Ikastrul let the words settle before she spoke. “You’re wondering if you’re to blame.” His inner thoughts were becoming more clear to her telepathic senses.

Kian’s gaze dropped to the floor. “How can I not be? If I’d stayed, I’d have been in her place. Maybe I’d be gone instead. Maybe she’d be sitting here. She had so much to look forward to.”

Her voice was calm. “It’s okay to feel what you’re feeling now. Just remember that the Vaadwaur made the choice to attack. Not you. That was a sudden, violent act. No one could have predicted it, back in that moment. Not you. Not Talaen.”

He shook his head. “I hear that. I even try to believe it. But it doesn’t stop the guilt.”

“That’s normal,” Ikastrul said. “It does not make you weak or selfish to still be alive. You did your job. You were part of the repairs that kept the Brawley fighting back. You even helped secure the Morro Bay. Those repairs helped ensure the Vaadwaur won’t hurt anybody else in this sector. That means a lot.”

The unjoined Trill swallowed. “It doesn’t feel like it matters when I think about her. I can’t stop replaying that moment when I handed her my spot. Her smile. The way she tilted her head. I can’t even tell if she knew I was starting to,” He paused and exhaled heavily. His right hand swept across both eyes momentarily, before returning to his lap.

Ikastrul stayed quiet. Her attention locked onto him, but didn’t push.

Kian lowered his hand. “I never told her. That might be what’s eating at me the most. I let her go without ever saying anything.”

The counselor’s expression was steady. Her voice carried a gentleness that cut through the air. “We can work through that. Piece by piece. But for now, I want you to try the breathing exercise again. It isn’t a way to erase the thought. Think of it as a way to give your body room to fly without drowning.”

He hesitated, then nodded.

Her voice was even. “Four seconds in. Hold for seven. Out for eight.”

He followed the count. The first breath was shaky. The second attempt was better. The third try held a little more strength. The tightness in his body ebbed and flowed outwards through each exercise. Kian’s eyes closed for a moment. His chest still ached, but the edges of the tension had dulled.

“Better?” Ikastrul asked.

“A little,” Kian replied. “it feels like I can at least talk without feeling like I’m going to break.”

“That’s a start,” Ikastrul replied. “That means we can go a little deeper now.”

Kian shifted in the chair. His eyes drifted toward the floor. Ikastrul noticed his grip tighten around his knees.

“Earlier,” she continued, “you said you hadn’t admitted your feelings for Talaen until now. Tell me about that.”

He drew in a breath and spent a few moments thinking. “We’d been friends for a few weeks. She was easy to talk to. She always knew when to make a joke and when to just listen. I guess I didn’t want to risk ruining that. I haven’t told anybody that I had feelings for her. Not then, not now.”

Ikastrul leaned back slightly. Her inky eyes held his for a moment longer than usual. “Do you know what I just felt in your words?”

Kian blinked. “What?”

“You trusted me enough to share a thought that you can barely share with yourself. That is an important step towards your recovery. That’s a sign of growth, Kian.” Her voice carried an undercurrent of satisfaction.

He let out a slow breath. “That didn’t feel like growth. It felt like pulling teeth.”

“That’s how healing is sometimes.” She extended an elegant arm to point towards the towering cactus in the corner. Its fleshy blue stalks ended in gentle points. “Do you know what that is?”

Kian shook his head.

“It’s a Vulcan H’lob cactus. They survive in harsh climates with almost no water. They grow slowly, almost carefully. Each leafy stalk is strong enough to store what it needs to live. We are all like this cactus. You have also been through heat and storms. So have I. We are both still standing. Together, we’ll make sure you keep growing with strong roots.”

Kian looked at the plant for a moment, then back to her. “And you’re saying I just have to sit here, soaking up sunlight?”

That drew the smallest smile from her. “I’ll be the sunlight. You just keep showing up.”

For the first time during the session, his lips twitched into something close to a smile.

She shifted forward in her seat. “I have to tell you, I’m so excited to hear about you and Jenna.” Her voice lifted a half octave higher. Eyes encapsulated behind smoky eyeshadow widened with genuine interest. “She’s good for you. I can see it in how you talk about her. I feel her warmth within you.”

Kian rubbed the back of his neck. “She’s been great for my soul over these past few weeks. Jenna keeps me laughing and helps me stay grounded.”

Ikastrul nodded emphatically. “Keep building on that. Keep sharing with her. It isn’t about replacing what you lost. It’s about allowing something new to grow alongside the memory of Talaen.”

He hesitated, then added, “I think I’m afraid that it means I’m forgetting her.”

“You are not forgetting Ensign Rho,” she said firmly. She leaned in and held his gaze. “You are honoring her by living the best version of your life. Do this by reaching out to others and connecting. That is what she’d want for you.”

Kian sat back and let the thought sink in. “Do you really think so?”

“I don’t think so, Kian. I know so.” Ikastrul also felt a sense of relief wash over her. She realized Kian was doing better than she had worried about. .

Something shifted in his expression. The tension in his shoulders fully eased. The counselor’s eyes stayed on his, steady and warm. Her presence anchored him within the silent space between their words.

“That’s all for today”, she said as she stood. “We’ll stay in touch. Reach out to me if anything comes up.”

Kian rose and straightened his uniform. “Thanks, Counselor. It feels soothing to finally get all of this off my chest.”

“Anytime,” she said. “That’s what I’m here for. And don’t forget. You are like that cactus.”

“I’ll try not to forget.”

As he stepped into the corridor, the dull look in his eyes had warmed into something softer. It was likely the result of the way Ikastrul Zaa’s steady eye contact had eased away his distant stare.