Location: USS Paso Robles, Counseling Office

Yeah waiting was visiting the SS Wolverine, and Renato decided to take advantage of this moment to talk with his counselor. This is something that he been pushing off something that the chief medical officer suggested he needed to follow through with. Currently Ensign T’Shan was in command of the bridge. But he wasn’t concerned he knew how very diligent Vulcans were and he knew his Bridge was in good hands. So that allowed him to set up this meeting.

Renato made his way from the bridge all the way down to the counseling office, he didn’t want to do this in front of the crew are in his ready room. He prefer to keep some things to himself. Honestly this was not really the crews, concern at this time. If it became a concern then he would address it.

“Hello Doctor, thank you for agreeing to see me.” Renato said, as he walked into her office.

“Not a problem Captain, would you care to have a seat?” Zara asked him cautiously.

“Sure Doctor.” Renato said a little nervous. This was the last place he wanted to be.

“You don’t have to refer to me as Doctor.” Zara suggested to him.

“I prefer it, you’re Doctor when I need services,you are Lieutenant when it comes to office duties.” Renato explained to her.

“If it helps you process, then sure.” Zara said, as she watched him take a seat.

“How are you settling in, Captain?” Zara asked him, hoping this would get him to open up.

“That is an interesting term, how am I settling in. Well just complete our first mission. Thanks see you and the crew we got the ship operation and we already completed our first mission. So settling in I would say pretty well at least from that perspective. But something tells me that wasn’t the way you meant the question to be?” Renato suggested his looked over to the counselor.

“You would be correct captain, I was asking how are you settling in.” Zara said that she restated her point. “Well work is important, it doesn’t answer the question of how you are settling in.”

“I’m happy to be here, a little eager. This wasn’t the career I thought I would have. I thought I would be an explorer instead of a supply captain. Not that I’m complaining cuz it’s kind of nice. I’m doing the best I can to put on a positive facade.” Renato said to the counselor.

“Why do you feel like you have to put up a facade?” Zara asked, and she started to get into the more in-depth part of their meeting.

“The captain should always look like they’re in control, everybody looks up to them. I want my crew to be able to look up to me.” Renato suggested as his response.

“And do you feel like you’re in control?” Zara asked if she waited to see how he responded.

“For the moment yes. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have my doubts. Feels like we’re in uncertain times.” Renato started explain to her.

“Why do you believe that?” Zara asked if she continued probing him for more information.

“Because of my participation in the Battle of frontiers day.” Renato started to say, as flashback started to come to his mind.

“That was beyond your control captain, and checking your starfleet file it looked like you handled it well.” Zara pointed out to him.

“That was another facade, seems like I’m full of those.” Renato pointed out to her, as he took a moment to take a deep breath.

“I believe what you call a facade, a lot of us would just simply say is a way to cope with what’s going on around you. I wouldn’t say what you are doing is a facade. I believe deep down you handle the situation the best way you could.” Zara pointed out to him.

“Explain this to me doctor, why does my best feel like I was being a phony?” Renato asked his counselor.

“Because you blame yourself for what happened, Captain. You’re holding yourself personally responsible for something that was out of your control.” Zara pointed out to him.

“The safety and the responsibility of the crew are my concern, and they were assimilated and I had to defend myself how am I supposed to easily get over that?” Renato asked, hoping maybe she has some insight about how to get over this.

“You cherish life it’s like we all do. But we can’t save everybody, we can only do the best we can. And I believe that day Captain you did the best you could.” Zara said to him hoping that some of these words are fighting some comfort for him.

“I just felt like I could have done more.” Renato proclaim to her, feeling like he could have done more.

“Ah yes, the what if. The what if always will haunt us because it makes it feel like we didn’t do enough when in reality we did more than was asked of us that day.”

“I suppose you’re right, I am playing the what if game. Some of the lives lost that day still haunt me.” Renato explain to her, as the flashbacks of the battle or freshen his mind back when he was still first officer.

“We need to figure out a way to help you move forward.” Zara said to him as she waited to see what he would say next.

“And that’s why I’m here, to find a way to move forward to put this behind me.” Renato said, thinking that they were just now talking in circles. Was he stalling? It was a real possibility because he was still trying to come to grass with everything even though I had been almost a year.

“We’ll find a way captain, together. We’ll find a way t

o get through this.’ Zara said as a scene starts to fade away.