Vail O’Donnell was sitting in her usual seat in the lounge, holding a glass but not really drinking. Her fingers tapped absent-mindedly on the side of the glass as she contemplated her current situation, and its parallels to the past. It was a few minutes of staring blankly at a spot on the carpet before she realized she was no longer alone. Turning her attention, her eyes fell on the Doctor who had sat down in the adjacent seat, holding a glass and a bottle. He said nothing, but poured himself a glass and took a sip.

“How’s your side?” he asked after a minute, a casual tone in his voice. 

“It’s good.” she replied softly. “Thanks for patching me up again.” Sriarr let out a long sigh. Vail noticed his face looked older than she remembered. His eyes were tired, and there was white fur around his eyes and nose, mixed in with the glossy black. He took another sip of his drink, and sighed again. 

“You know,” he said, sitting deep in his chair and resting his head on the back of it, “I really thought we were done with this shit.” He raised his free hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I am so tired of fixing fucking holes in everyone. I spent two years, TWO YEARS on the front lines, watching baby faced kids die in front of me. Watching you and everyone else in pain and agony.” He looked at his hands. “The amount of blood and everything else I’ve washed off these hands is enough to last a lifetime, yet here I am at the outbreak of another war, looking to do it all over again.” If Vail didn’t know him better, she would have sworn he was crying.

“I hate it too.” Vail replied softly. She was sitting at the edge of her chair, elbows on her knees, with her head hanging low, staring at the floor. “I can’t believe we’re here again.” She looked up at Sriarr suddenly, tears burning her eyes. “I am tired of the death too, Sriarr. You are tired of saving lives, I am tired of taking them. Tired of being in the fight, my choice reduced to killing them or dying myself. What kind of choice is that?”

“The worst kind.” Sriarr said, sitting up and looking back into her eyes. “The kind that removed the humanity in you from the equation. It takes everything good and decent in a person, and rips it to pieces, tossing it aside and leaving a monster in its place.” He reached out, and placed a hand gently on her shoulder. “And when it’s over, we have to pick up those pieces of us, and try to put them back together, but it never works. Not completely.” The two fell into a long contemplative silence, each taking comfort from the presence of the other with no need to exchange more words.  

“I’m worried about Tom.” Vail said after a while, picking up the bottle and refilling her glass. “I don’t like not being in touch with him.” She extended the bottle to Sriarr, offering to refill his glass as well. 

“I get that.” he said, proffering his glass for the refill. “It’s always hard when our friends are out there alone, and we are stuck here.” He looked up at Vail. “Hang on, something has changed.” he said, examining her face, “This isn’t the same worry you’ve carried before.” 

“Something has changed.” Vail agreed, looking up to the ceiling. “It changed in that gang house, I think. When I got shot, the way he protected me…” her voice trailed off as her mind began to wander. She thought about his intense shouts of rage, the look of sadness and concern in his eyes when he returned to her, the easy way his strong arms tensed as he picked her up. She shot a look at the Doctor when she realized she had drifted off, clearing her throat and sitting up straight. 

“Hang on,” said the Doctor, sitting up in his chair and staring at her, the realization dawning on him,  “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” His face broke into a wide smile, and he started to laugh.  

“Oh, shut up.” Vail said, smiling despite herself. “I’m still not sure what I’m saying.”

“Sure you are.” Sriarr replied, stifling his laugh, “And I think it’s wonderful.”

“Really, you think so?” she asked him hopefully. 

“Of course!” He beamed, “Tom is an awesome guy. Plus,” he paused, dropping his voice and leaning in close to Vail, “He’s been holding a flame for you for a while now.” 

“Really?” said Vail, her voice louder than she wanted in the excitement. 

Sriarr nodded his head so vigorously, his ears flapped a little. “Oh yea. He told me after we got back from that time travel bullshit, during Ezra’s party.”

“That bastard.” she said, draining her glass. “He might have mentioned it to me.” 

“S’not who he is.” replied Sriarr. 

“Well, I’ll show him when he gets back.” She said, a determined fire blazing behind her green eyes. “Now that I know I’m making up for lost time.” She looked at the Doctor, feeling happier than she had in a long time. She placed a hand on his knee, and looked into his eyes. “Thanks, Doctor.” She said, “I think I needed this.” 

“War is hell, Vail, as you very well know.” said Sriarr, placing his hand on hers. “We need to hang on to every little piece of heaven we can.” The Doctor stood up, gave Vail a nod, and left the lounge. Vail sat for a while longer, smiling to herself and listening to the soft jazz music Scott always had playing in the lounge. It wasn’t her favorite, but Scott always said it made the place feel more classy.

After a while, she got up, and made her way to her quarters. She dressed for bed and laid down, her excitement at her recent revelation tinted by the nagging worry. She knew now how she felt, but that made the current situation even worse. What if he never came back? What if he did come back, and rebuff her advances? She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head. These thoughts could not be allowed to fester. Eventually, her eyelids got heavy, and she fell to sleep. 

Vail, it’s the Doctor! Vail, wake up he’s back! He just landed in the shuttle bay! Sriarr’s voice came over the comm, and Vail leapt out of bed, rushing to the door without bothering to change into her uniform. She hurtled down the corridor in her pajamas, skidding into the turbolift and startling the Ensign standing inside.

“Shuttle Bay!” She shouted to the turbolift, and began bouncing on the balls of her feet, unable to contain her excitement. The Ensign, who was clearly startled by this unusual display by the Chief Tactical Officer, shrunk back against the wall, holding his PADD against his chest, a look of worried confusion on his face. Not daring to speak, he simply stared up at the ceiling. When the doors of the turbolift opened, Vail shot out of them as if fired from a torpedo tube, her bare feet slapping the cold floor of the shuttle bay as she ran. 

Tom was just getting down from the craft, barely placing both feet on the floor when he noticed the crazed, pajama clad Lieutenant Commander leaping into the air just feet from him. Without thinking, he caught her in his arms. “Vail,” he said startled, “What the hell, are you okay?” She did not answer, but wrapped her legs around his body, and kissed him hard on the mouth. He pulled her in close and kissed her back before setting her back down on her feet. 

“Yes.” She said, looking up at him. “I am okay now.”