— USS Andromeda, Chief Counsellor’s Office —

As the door slid closed behind the captain she had a brief impulse to turn, open it, and dash down the hallway to safety. Instead she greeted her chief counselor with a smile and took a seat hoping that both her anxiousness was not evident on the surface nor the half-Betazoid woman did not bother reading her emotional state.

Setting down her PADD Lieutenant Yuhiro Kolem smiled, and ignored the obvious discomfort of the captain. Everyone needed to talk to one of the ship’s counseling staff now and then and while disaster might be befalling the ship there was not a lot that could be done about it right now. The laws of physics and seemingly the unpinning of what they understood about the universe no longer seemed to apply, but the captain was not going to be able to solve it on her own.

So now there was time. Nothing but time.

“I know you hate this,” Kolem said.

“Is it that obvious?” Carrillo asked adjusting herself on the simulated leather couch.

Kolem nodded, “It’s that obvious.”

“Do captains usually like talking about themselves?” Carrillo asked.

“Yes, most have a kind of grand narrative in their head,” Kolem said, “to get where you were you kind of need that confidence, or messiah complex.”

The idea of thinking of her life as a kind of grand progressive narrative made some degree of sense to Carrillo. Achieving success in Starfleet had not been a fluke, exactly, but she had been elevated to this role a few years before it might have naturally come. Perhaps with it, she’d have better developed the idea of herself as a heroine in some kind of unwritten holo-novel. As it was though she was just someone awkwardly sitting on a couch talking to a subordinate who was also her therapist.

“Sometimes it just helps to talk,” Kolem said, “So set aside everything that’s going on, let’s talk about something. Tell me something you never told me.”

The captain nodded, “Okay. How about the time I almost dropped out of the academy.”

“Oh, juicy…” Kolem said, “So tell me, what was it. Job, boyfriend…”

“Girlfriend,” Olivia Carrillo said.

“But you’re married now to Pierre,” Kolem said.

“It’s the twenty-fifth century,” Carrillo shot back.

“It wasn’t then, but fair enough,” Kolem said, “No more objections from me. I’ll just be quiet and listen.”

— A Book Store, Trill, The Past —

The book store clerk looked up from the tomb that she was reading as the chime on the door to the shop sounded. Aqua eyes noticed a slender young human come in wearing one of the uniforms that marked the woman as a cadet at the local Starfleet Academy across town. Jinah Pegrog gestured to the back of the store and said, “Text books and the Academy data files are back there.”

Cadet Olivia Carrillo shook her head, “No umm ma’am, I’m looking for a present not a textbook.”

“Most books have text in them, and how old do you think I am?” the Trill behind the counter demanded frowning.

Carrillo looked at her and shrugged, she’d not yet figured out if there was a reliable way of telling which of the locals were joined and which were not. The answer could be anywhere from 24 to 424.

“The right age,” Carrillo said finally.

“Your family was assigned to the Starfleet base here, not a lot of humans end up at this Academy,” the woman said.

Carrillo shook her head, “I come from a large family. I wanted to get away for a bit, so I didn’t end up not studying. Figured Trill sounded nicer than Vulcan or Andor.”

“So if it’s not textbooks you’re looking for why are you here?” the woman asked. Human’s interest in Trill and its cultures tended not to include its literature. If anything the exchange usually went the other way, with human books making their way into Trill society. 

“It’s my brothers’ birthday, they’re twins, and I want to get one of them a cookbook and the other a book of poetry,” Carrillo said, “I figured something local to add a bit of interest. I’m the first in my family who lived off-world.”

Sliding off her stool the Trill stood and walked around the counter, “I’m twenty-two by the way. Let’s find you some books.”

— USS Andromeda, Chief Counsellor’s Office — Present  —

“So you bought a book,” Kolem said interrupting the story.

“Two books, yes. Let me finish there’s a bit to get through,” Carrillo said before continuing.

— A Bookstore, Trill, The Past —

The door opened and the clerk looked up from another book that she was reading. She did a lot of reading during her shift. In walked the same dark-haired Starfleet cadet from the previous week, this time drenched from the rain outside.

“Back again?” Jinah Pegrog observed.

Carrillo pushed some of the wet matted hair from her face and nodded, “Yes I just wanted to say that they loved it. Or at least told me that they did.”

“They could be lying to keep from hurting your feelings,” the Trill observed.

“Nah, not my family. We’re big, the only way anyone survives is by reckless honesty,” Olivia said.

“Well that’s a detail about humans I didn’t know,” the Trill said.

“Not all humans, just us Carrillo’s of New York,” Carrillo smiled.

“Well Carrillo of New York, I’m glad the books suited your siblings,” Jinah Pegrog said, “Is there and Old York?”

“It’s in England,” Carrillo said, guessing.

“Is that also on Earth?”

“It’s a nation back when we had nations,” Carrillo said.

— USS Andromeda, Chief Counsellor’s Office — Present  —

“Is this story just you explaining geography to a Trill?” Kolem asked.

“Stop interrupting, I thought therapists weren’t supposed to interrupt,” Carrillo protested.

“I’m directing the story, keeping you on topic,” Kolem said. She made a gesture for the captain to continue.

— A Book Store, Trill, The Past —

“So now you know all about York and New York and nobody in the future is going to tell me to skip ahead when I tell this story at all,” Carrillo said.

Not thinking that this was an odd thing to have said the Trill nodded now perfectly understanding the various Yorks and New Yorks in the world of Earth.

Nervously Carrillo put her arms on the counter and leaned forward towards the Trill, “What’s your name by the way?”

“Jinah Pegrog,” The Trill said, “Jinah.”

Sticking out her hand in the very human offer of a handshake Carrillo said, “Olivia Carrillo. Olivia. Did you want to grab a drink?”

— Jinah Pegrog’s Apartment, Trill, Two Years Less In The Past —

The couple lay with their limbs intertwined on the couch. Other than the skin tones, Carrillo’s being darker, and the Trill markings it was hard to tell what limb belonged to what woman. There was reading to be done on warp field technology for Carrillo and an order of new poetry books to be filled out for Pegrog, but the pair just lay there, enjoying the feel of each other’s bodies for the moment.

“Ol,” Jinah said finally, using the shortened pet name that she’d been using for Olivia.

“Hmm?” Olivia mumbled, half asleep at that point.

“Ol, I got accepted,” Jinah tried again.

“Hmm, into what?” Olivia asked.

“As a host, it’s been five years I’ve been on a waiting list,” the Trill said trying to not sound too excited yet. Even now it was not clear that the joining would take place. 

Olivia opened her eyes and looked up at her girlfriend, “So you’ll be someone else?”

“No I will still be me, just me and five or ten other people,” Jinah explained. 

Olivia knew the basics of the Trill joining process but not the full impact of what the joining meant. She’d only met one joined trill and they had not really revealed much about it and prying had seemed rude. Joined trills were rare enough that she did not know how many she’d actually met.

“But that you is going to be different from you you,” Olivia said sitting up on the couch, “What if you don’t love me.”

“Well relationships sometimes do end when the joining happens. I mean you’re right I’ll have new perspectives, new experiences. But it’s not like we’re long term, you’re going to graduate next year and be off on a starship or something,” Jinah said.

“But this feels right, you and me. I figured you could come to wherever I go or,” Carrillo paused, “I guess we never talked about it but I’m not in this for the short term.”

“But you have Starfleet and I have the joining. I’ve wanted it for so long, I’m not giving it up any more than you’re giving up Starfleet,” Jinah said.

“I’ll give up Starfleet for you. I can become a shuttle pilot, run cargo between Trill and its colonies, be home every night,” Carrillo said, suddenly feeling panicked by the turn of events. 

“You’d do that?” Jinah asked.

“I would,” Olivia said.

— Jinah Pegrog’s Apartment, Trill, One and a Half Years in the Past —

An older woman who Olivia Carrillo recognized as Jinah’s mother opened the door. She frowned, and dabbed at her eyes, “Olivia?”

Olivia nodded, “I’m here to see Jinah, I’ve applied for the job with the Trill Transport Authority. Can I see her?”

She tried to squeeze beyond the woman and into the room. Behind Jinah’s mother were others, they all looked somber.

“The previous host suffered an accident, the joining was moved to this morning,” Jinah’s mother said.

“But Jinah said she wasn’t getting joined,” Olivia protested, “I gave up Starfleet and she gave up…”

“She never actually quit, and when the call came she took the host. So few of us can, it’s not that they can just find a new one,” the mother said, “But the host was hurt in the accident. The joining….”

Olivia pushed past her girlfriend’s mother and into the apartment. Trill relatives, some familiar others unknown to her, watched as she scrambled from room to room. She had pieced together the message that Jinah’s mother was trying to give her, she just needed it not to be the truth. She had lost people, but they had always been older relatives, great-grandparents and aunts from the time of Kirk. This was new.

“Jinah,” she called as she rushed around the apartment that was too small for the amount of people currently in it, the amount of mourners. 

A man grabbed her and wrapped her up in a hug, “Hey Olly.”

Jinah’s father had been like a second father to Olivia, especially given that she had grown up with a large family she’d liked the feel of having people on Trill. He wasn’t her father, but she counted him as family in a way that she didn’t with Jinah’s mother.

— USS Andromeda, Chief Counsellor’s Office — Present —

Kolem was quiet, no longer backseat narrating. She tried to give a comforting smile to the captain.

“I’m sorry,” she offered, feeling that it was not much to say.

“I could have been flying transport shuttles by now. But instead, I stayed in Starfleet and finished my last year at the Vulcan campus of the Academy. And until I met Pierre I never felt like dating again,” Carrillo said.

“Does he know?” Kolem asked.

“Yes, he lost his girlfriend when he jumped forward in time a century. Having lost people was one of the things that drew us together,” Carrillo said.

“Well I won’t accuse you of not sharing for a while,” Kolem said, then added, “You okay.”

Carrillo nodded, rising from the couch, “Yes but I should go see if Commander Young has fixed the laws of physics yet.”